I'm on the verge of partial breakdown and complete insanity. I kinda try as hard as possible not to show just how stressed out I am, but some times it's just really tough. Trying to put on a smile despite having so much going through my mind.
There are, of course, many things that I give thanks for but there's just a lot of dilemma in my life and whatever I choose, it's going to be a gamble that I have to take and its consequences I have to face.
I haven't been able to sleep for weeks, hence the time at which I'm typing this is 4a.m.. I tried to sleep, or rather, tire myself to sleep.. My treadmill is morphing into my closest confidante.
And I just found out something new about me today. I am a WEEPER. Really. Or maybe it is me feeling emotionally vulnerable now, that I weep at practically everything on TV that is sad, touching or when I see someone else cry and I am actually quite amused.
Anyway, while I was running just now, I caught "You've got mail", for the hundredth time, I think. I just never, NEVER get bored of the show and shows like Pride and Prejudice. I've watched them a million times and I love it.
Or maybe, it's just a part of me that wishes that I could find someone like they do. Someone who knows them better than they do, can read their instincts and complete their sentences. Maybe it's the dream of being able to actually find a soul mate that attracts me to these shows, and the language they use in Pride and Prejudice. My goodness.. Mr Darcy and his arrogance yet so gentle and vulnerable in the presence of a woman who has bewitched him, mind, body and soul.
Well, all I can say is that Life isn't a movie and doesn't have a fairytale ending and probably that's why I will always be captivated by such movies. If only I can have a tale of my own..
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