It ended with the fireworks

What can be a more spectacular end than fireworks? They're always beautiful, give you a sense of warmth and wonder, yet sadly, often short-lived.

I had a moment during the Perth Royal show.. I was watching the fireworks and midway, I told myself, I'd let my feelings for him go like the fireworks and once it ends, it'd all end. At some point, I wished the fireworks never ended, but I knew, it was what I had to do.

Till yesterday, I was still hopeful, I thought I could carry the feelings within my heart and wait for him.. Perhaps I don't have the tenacity when it comes to waiting for someone. Or rather, I would gladly wait on someone if I knew that the feelings were reciprocated, I'm willing to wait for him while he sorts himself out, only thing is, it has to be a purposeful wait.

At the same time, right now, I feel like I've got to sort myself out too.. Nothing, really, NOTHING should get in the way of Dentistry, and if it/he is, then it's time to take it out.

Another thing that came to my mind was that, I really do think that I deserve better, not that he isn't a good guy, but I think I deserve to be treated better, to be loved a lot more and to be appreciated for who I am. I don't know why it took me so long to actually see this, but I think I should give myself some credit for being the kind of girlfriend that I am and if he doesn't appreciate and see what he has, then it's his loss and not my prerogative to work towards letting him see that.

Yes. It was just yesterday that I felt that way.. but right now, at this point in time, I'm freeing the position of "special someone", I'm not just taking a break from relationships, I'm taking a break from him and the some what nonsense that he has put me through. I don't think I have to justify the reasons why I think I deserve someone who treats me a lot better and loves me more.. I think finally, I've realised, that I do.

Before the show began, my heart yearned for him, for his presence with me at the royal show, I wished I was holding his hand and having all the fun.. But at the end of the show, like the fireworks, my feelings ended when it did. Enough is enough, it's time to move on.