I'm endeavouring to finish When God writes your love story, not that it's not enjoyable, just that I haven't had the time to really sit and read. I'm halfway through it and I've had more "aha" moments than when watching all the episodes of Oprah put together. (yes, I watch Oprah) Last I wrote about the book, it was about the Beautiful side of love, about the Sweeter Song. This time, it's about the purity, both emotional and physical purity.
Purity has been something my friend and I discuss a lot about, don't get me wrong, it's not that both of us have differing views on it, it's just that we have had so many encounters with people who just don't understand the essence of purity, the reason for purity and the need for it. I feel for the people who do not understand the need for it simply because they will never understand the true essence and beauty of love, or experience the love that has been created and planned for us, by Him.
My cousin once told me, that among all of us, I'm the only one who dreams of a white picket fence and she told me not to have such high hopes for it, I understand where she is coming from, but honestly, I just feel that it is because she doesn't understand the concept of true love. Yes, people have called me idealistic for wanting that white picket fence, questioning that domestic side of me and questioning my "submission" to men, I thank God that I have never wavered in my stand and chose to hold true to my beliefs. My only explanation for their confusion, is cause they have yet to experience God and see love from His eyes.
Secular love has called out to many, in fact, it is the most fashionable kind of love to have and be in. This sort of love by my definition is shallow and is based mainly on physical attraction, the fear of loneliness and the spontaneity of the endocrine. The yearning for this sort of love is like a slippery slope, it never ends, you find emotional food and satisfaction from one person, pour out your emotions to him/her and when it all ends, when the "spark" is gone and chemistry doused, what is left is a deeper pit of emotional emptiness and the vicious cycle continues. I am no stranger to this yearning of companionship, I do struggle against this, and have once fallen in "love" and out of, felt that pain of your heart being mashed to pieces and the emptiness that follows. Luckily for me, or rather, I thank God that He led me out of it and I was spared falling into that bottomless pit of "love".
Being with someone should not be about him/her making you feel whole nor about them filling that void and loneliness. You should already be whole when entering the relationship, that void in your heart should have already been filled, as a Christian, your heart should be whole and full with the Love of God. That loneliness you have should be filled with a closer walk with God and not a closer walk with a person you're attracted to, because that walk is just simply temporal until you understand the true meaning of love. How can you love someone when you can't even love the person who made you, who created you?
What then is Love, you may ask.. I truly have no concrete answer, or rather, am not wise enough to give one, but at this point, I can only share with you love that I understand. Godly love, above all else, is love that is essential to me, it is what keeps me whole and fills me with such joy and contentment. It is this gift of Love for me that I can love others, forgive them and love people who do evil unto me. It is God's love that marks me, His love for me, so much so, that He gave His son as a living sacrifice for me. Honestly, I do not deny that at times, it is a struggle for me to exhibit this kind of Godly love to people, because they do get on my nerves too, but I try to remind myself, that it is this group of people that needs and lacks God's love.
Love between people, isn't just about attraction or a bunch of hormonal reactions, it's more than just that. Love between friends and that special someone, is a commitment. It is a commitment to actively love someone above all else. If love is based upon "chemistry" and "feelings" then it is love that cannot last, but if it is a promise to love someone with all your heart, to love them through all circumstances, it will be tough, that I can guarantee, but it will be the most rewarding and lasting form of love, one that conquers and commits.
It brings me to the issue of purity. We cannot deny that there is a social epidemic of immorality, the apathy and indifference to purity and at times, the mockery of it. We have become a generation that jokes and talks about sexual relationships and adventures without any sense of shame nor guilt. There are many out there who think that it's alright, life is short and many who just jump into the bandwagon thinking, if everyone is doing it, why can't I? Why keep myself pure when I can't even be sure if the person I'm keeping it for is doing the same? It is, of course, a valid question. But I know and have faith that if God has planned marriage for you and have planned for you to meet that right one He has for you, then I am very sure and certain, that this very person is keeping himself for you too, because He too, would have a fervour for God.
It starts with us, with us as individuals, to have that integrity and commitment to purity. If immorality started with just a few and then snowballing to what it is now, then I believe, it would also take us, as individuals, to influence the rest, the people around us, about the importance of purity. Keeping yourself for that one special person, males and females alike. I have many male friends and believe me, all of them, want to marry a girl that is pure and chaste. For the few guys who actually read this, if that's what you hope for in a girl, you can be sure that she expects that of you too!
Physical purity is just one aspect of purity, there is too, the emotional aspect of it. Not giving your heart to people who don't deserve it, because when you do and when they break it, part of you "dies" away. At the end of the day, when you marry that one person, when you find that one special person you want to live with for the rest of your life, all that is left is a heart that has been broken and patched and full of cracks. You can't Love wholeheartedly when you don't have a heart that is whole.
The shadows of past relationships and the heartaches will impede your love for that special person, you will naturally put up barriers when you've been hurt one too many times, you won't be able to love the person with all your heart, because you can only love him/her with what is left of it.
Some of you will go.. it's sort of too late, have been there, done that. But it is never too late. Letting God come into your life and take charge, letting Him heal your heart as you await His right one, allowing Him to teach you Love and letting Him show you how to love, these will change you. As you yearn to please Him, He will guide you and it won't be easy, but as long as you have the fervour for the Lord, you will get there. If you aren't Christian, it doesn't mean you let your life go and self destruct, because if you are in search of love and have yet to find it, then I really do hope the above sharing spoke to you.
I have made my commitment to God and to that special someone, though I've not met him, to keep my heart and myself for him, until He tells me that that's the one. Have you?
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