Have a Little Faith - Mitch Albom

I'm halfway through Mitch Albom's Have a Little Faith. As always, it is an awesome read. Halfway through it and I'm actually thinking and asking myself questions.

When someone says, your god and my god.. Is it the start of a subtle distinction and segregation? If a Christian tells a Jew, "May your god and my God bless you", are we actually talking about a different God here? There are some questions that I don't have an answer for, or rather, I don't have enough knowledge and experience to answer them. Why is there segregation within the Christian faith itself? Do we not read the same word and sing praises to the same God? It doesn't matter if you're Anglican, Methodist, Presbyterian or Charismatic, bottom line is, we have the same values and we have the same faith, it's just that we worship in a different manner. Shouldn't we start celebrating the fact that WE are one in HIM, rather than saying, your church and my church? We are after all, all children of God.

There is one part in the book that I absolutely love.. the part where he talked about love and commitment. Where commitment was once a positive word and yet, now, it's one that people avoid, in faith and in marriage. Yet when one fails to commit, they just simply miss what's on the other side.. - A happiness you cannot find alone. How true.

Another part of the book that I really liked was his sharing with the Reb about happiness.. the secret of happiness. "Be satisfied. Be grateful. For what you have. For the love you receive. And for what God has given you." It's something that seems like common sense, something that all of us have heard for a million times and know by heart.. Contentment. Yes. We know it by heart but do we put that to practice? I can't say that I do all the time, or at least, I try my best to remember and thank God for all that He has blessed me with.

This book is about a person's last days, a Rebbi's last days and his interactions with the author in preparation for his eulogy. We may not have that many life experiences and I do believe that we can always learn from another person's life. Their views, their perspectives and their wisdom. This is one book I'm contemplating buying for all my friends. This is seriously one good read!

2010 for me

Awesome! 2010!

To think my first days of this new year were spent in a foreign land, sadly- yet aptly- since I'm going to spend the bulk of my days in a foreign land I have to call my second home. Yes. I am excited and I can't wait for class to start. I am yearning to learn everything I have to to be an outstanding dentist, to take in every bit of knowledge from people who are willing to impart. I can't wait to live my life differently, I can't wait for my dreams to come true.

Taiwan was a good ten day break for me, for me to sort my thoughts. I know my focus and I hear the calling within my heart, stronger than ever. There were a couple of things that I took home from Taiwan, first, the culture shock, second, how awesome our government has been and still is, third, the reality that in a month, I'd be doing what I've always wanted to do and lastly, how much I yearned the company of a companion.

Yes.. It's not the premature biological clock that was ticking, it is the li'l thing that beats inside of me that's craving for love. I miss having company, having a person I can call to share my deepest thoughts. I miss having someone hold my hands and rub them when I'm feeling cold, lying in his arms and feel completely safe. I miss having someone to think of and yearn for, I miss the attention and the care, I miss having him complete my sentences and read my thoughts before I can say them. Damn it. That's what Taiwan has done to me.

That aside, I just caught Invictus. I LOVED the show, I loved the message behind it, I loved the Mandela quotes and most of all, I love the way it made me feel. Everything is possible, with God. To want more than excellence, to strive for more than your best. I have been thinking of my 2010 resolutions, and I think I just found it. To give more than my best and to not just meet expectations, but exceed them, in every aspect of my life.

This movie meant a lot to me and somehow, somethings in me are settled. Things that bugged me now seem so clear. That's it. Enough is enough. I have my life to lead and better things to do. This is a new start, a new beginning for me, this is my future and my dreams that I am going to fight my darnest for. This is it, all or nothing. With God's strength, I'm going to give it my best. In faith I claim!

Twenty Ten and Taiwan!

It's just a few days away to TwentyTen and I am both ecstatic and apprehensive. I am super excited that school is starting, this may sound a bit geek-ish, but I can't wait to get back to studying again and learning things that I love, but at the same time, I'm apprehensive cause when 2010 Jan comes, it would mean that I am exactly 4 weeks away from leaving. It is because I know, when the 5th Feb comes, I would be the one crying so badly.

I don't exactly know how things will be in Perth, whether I can find friends as awesome as the ones here. I know God will provide in all things and I'm going to try to carry this Godly confidence with me there. I need to, because I know, only with HIM, can I achieve.

Anyway, I'm in Taiwan now, I seriously love the weather! I love it cold! I somehow think that I was born in the wrong climate, given how much I love to layer my clothing. =) But I totally love how it is here, Mea's parents are awesome and super hospitable! I don't exactly like the traffic here though, kind of unruly! Oh well, I'll be spending New Year's at Hua Lian, don't know if there is any kind of celebration there or sorts.

As of now, shopping doesn't feel as shiok as Korea, I don't know if it's cause of the company, I can't exactly shop with reckless abandon with my second brother around! He can be quite a pain in the.. *ahem* when it comes to shopping. Food is actually quite interesting! I do appreciate Taiwanese food, but it can get quite "gelat", too much oil, quite a bit of cholesterol in everything and a serious lack of veg! But I love LOVE the fruits here! I'm looking forward to the next couple of days.. Even though, I must add, I miss doing something LOADS! I need to run!!! I NEEEDDDD to RUNNNNN!!!!! I think running has become more of an obsessive lifestyle rather than a habit. Oh Well.. I'll make up for this lack of when I'm back!

Silly random thoughts

Seven more weeks. I don't wish to count down, but I'm subconsciously counting weeks. My heart's a mess and I suppose it's only normal, I just feel slightly torn. I am truly excited to go, to live my dreams, study what I've always wanted to and strive as hard as I can to be an outstanding dentist in God's name. Yet there is a part of me that can't bear to go simply cause I'll miss the people in my life to bits.



For one, I know I will miss my girlfriends and my whole cell. I will miss the convenience of picking up the phone and dialing my girlfriend's number, talk to her about the little agonising things that life has put in my way, think about life together and updating her about my life. I will miss the late night chats with a dear friend and the smiles he puts on my face. I will miss the afternoons where I hang out in Orchard, waiting for my twinnie for lunch and keeping her company at the Shu counter. I will miss waking up on a Sunday morning and driving down to church, having lunch with the cell and bonding with them. Needless to say, I will definitely be homesick. I will miss my family, the warmth of kinship and the joy of family time, I will miss my dearest boy too!!



I've been listening to Taylor Swift's album, Fearless, there are two songs that I love, You Belong to Me and Teardrops on my guitar. If you take a closer look at the lyrics, you'll realise that at some point in time, that has happened to you, in one way or another. Especially You Belong to Me, it's about a girl who is a guy's best friend and how she is perfect for him, yet the only thing is that he is taken by a seemingly hot girl, but one who is totally wrong for him.



Here's part of the lyrics:



"She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time



If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me



Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me



Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favourite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me



Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me"



Life does seem to play a practical joke on us, don't you think? Sometimes you're just "the good friend" even though you think the person will be much happier when they are with you. Then you might find the right guy that seems perfect for you and yet it's the wrong time. Or the guy you thought you could spend the rest of your life with turns out to be the wrong guy. What happens then? I don't have an answer, as much as I wish for one.



When I find that guy who makes me laugh, where just the very thought of his voice and him puts a smile to my face, the guy who reads me like a book, looks beyond me and understands the very fundamentals that make me me. I hope when I find him, in God's time, he'll be ready for me just as I would be for him, all in Perfect timing.

Random thoughts on a sleepless night

I don't know why I'm not sleeping yet, but there are just so many thoughts running through my mind that I can barely sleep, and well.. I kinda pulled my lower back muscle, so having that bit of pain while I lie flat. Anyway, that's of no importance at all, I just probably have a bit more time to think about things and life in general. The purpose of life to be exact.

Do we actually know what our purpose on earth is? What we are supposed to do with our life? As Christians, we call this purpose our calling. I thank God that He has in some way given me a clearer picture of what He wants me to do, even though these things are still quite premature but I'm glad He has given me a focus in life and a drive and motivation that will carry me through the next five years. But what happens to those who never find their calling? Or rather, they never find something that they truly love to do. What then happens to them?

Is life just about working hard and earning your keep, buying a house, starting a family and working even harder? What I know is that Life definitely isn't and shouldn't be a constant pursuit of material wants. Even though I know many girls who work really hard to earn enough money for the next designer handbag or would do anything for money just to enjoy this sense of material satisfaction and luxury.

All that I have in mind is that Life should be a walk with Christ. It is one where your purpose is known and you set your heart and mind to achieve it, not for your personal glory but for the glory of God. Life is about believing that God knows best and giving Him full control. As easy as this may sound, it is something that many Christians, myself included, struggle to constantly do. But I know even through these humanly struggles of life, God is never absent and always present. I commit my life to living a life that is pleasing to Him, one that will glorify Him.

Wrapping up 2009

As 2009 comes to an end, I carry with me a bag of varying emotions. This year holds many special moments for me and many firsts in my life. I cannot help but feel like I've grown up, I've lost every ounce of child-likeness in me (if there was any to begin with) but above all that, I feel ready to face whatever reality and the future has for me. Well.. When God is with me, who can be against me! =)

This year started off as one that I wasn't looking forward to. I didn't even feel like celebrating my birthday, simply because I couldn't find anything in my life that was worth celebrating (I was wrong). I wasn't looking forward to graduation, because I didn't want to face the harsh reality of getting rejected by NUS dentistry, AGAIN. Neither was I that excited about my plan B, C and D's if I couldn't study dentistry overseas. To be honest, I was pretty much disheartened, because this journey to live my dreams has been a very very VERY long drawn one, my girlfriends see my agony.

Then feb came and gone, and I realised, that as much as I didn't want to celebrate my birthday, my family and relatives did and at that moment, I realised that if there is one thing in my life that is worth celebrating, it's the Love. I am one truly blessed child to be so loved.

A few months later, exams. This year, unlike the last few, was very different. I suppose I finally understood what it meant to give God all control and living with Godly confidence. I was surprisingly calm through my exams, despite me feeling the least prepared.

In the midst of all that, I celebrated Barrack Obama's win! I was over the moon and it may sound cliche, but his presidency gave me hope for dentistry. Really. The run for presidency was one that I actually paid attention to, Hillary Clinton gave the big boys a good run for their money, even though she didn't reach the final goal, her journey was definitely an inspiration to many women, one that was very empowering.

Of course, we cannot forget H1N1, the many natural disasters and the crashing of the economy. These took the lives of many, it gave us a huge awakening that we, as man, are still very vulnerable and as much as we would like disagree, we are not in control of many things. I grieved for the families that lost their loved ones, children who have been orphaned, I cried when I saw the broken homes but was even more touched by love and the magnanimity of the human spirit. This year has indeed been a ride.

Even though I have to say, that we, as Singaporeans are very much sheltered from these. We have been very fortunate to enjoy the luxuries and comforts of life to the point where I think some of us have become ignorant and naive. For starts, to think that we are out of the economic crisis and that the market is becoming bullish. Is BULL indeed. We have become a generation, or rather, majority of this generation, has morphed into one that is incompetent, complaining, indecisive and unrealistic. I know this may sound harsh, but if you look around you, you'll see what I mean. Like I previously mentioned, I completely MOCK the idea of "Quarter life crisis". Get a life!

On a much lighter note, 2009 holds many precious memories for me. My first night out with the girls at the chalet, my first time cycling, my first time to Korea and Perth, the first time joining a cell group and most of all, the thing I cherish the most, would be the awesome friends that I have made and the fantastic relationships that I have forged. Some, albeit our short acquaintance have become people that I will treasure for life (you know who you are) and my girlfriends and guys alike, are people that I have grown to so dearly love.

Above all that, I celebrate 2009. I celebrate hope, faith and fulfilment, not by my own effort, but my Lord's. His promises and His truth, I give Him all glory and praise! My perseverance and persistence played a minor role in me getting into dentistry, if you ask me, Faith and His promise took the major role. I cannot thank the Lord enough for His messages, His faithfulness and His Grace. In His time, He unveiled His plans for me, and in His plans, He drew me close to Him and showed me the way. His grace is indeed amazing.

I end 2009 with a joyful heart, one that bears hope for the future, one that will wait upon the Lord and one that will grow in Him. I now welcome 2010 and the new beginning and adventures that will come with it because I know that God is in control!

The girl in white

The girl, all dressed in white, in all glory and beauty, glowing from deep within.

When the music plays, we turn our heads, stand and give her our fullest attention.

Hand on her father's arms, walking down the aisle, towards the man she's going to spend the rest of her life with.

His eyes, oh his eyes.. filled with her image, completely mesmerised by her beauty, by her grace, filled with the yearning of spending the rest of his life with her.

They exchange their vows, "in sickness and in health, till death do us apart". They bind their love with the exchange of rings, signifying the eternity of their love, the entwining of their beings, their souls and their life. They are one.

That's what I love about weddings. I cannot help but tear each time I hear the vows because as "cliche" as it may be, as long as it is said with all sincerity and the longing of spending the rest of their lives together, it can be the most powerful proclamation of love. How many people can do just that? In sickness and in health. In poverty and in riches.

I always wonder, do people just take a vow because it is part of the routine, or because they know they will hold true to their promises?

In this day and age where skirts are getting shorter, pants falling faster and morals looser, how many people actually live by their vows? The vow of fidelity, of loyalty and of love. The rising divorce rates is a clear example of the dilution of the sanctity of marriage. It is hard to believe in the institution of marriage when societal norms degrade the value of it. When the media portrays marriage to be a time of heeheehaha and when the going gets tough, it's to the lawyers they go.

That's just something that I cannot get. Why can't people understand that Love, true love requires effort, conscious effort and hard work. It's easy to feel passionate about someone, but to keep that passion going requires more than just, "a spark" or "feel". It's about loving the person the way he/she wants to be loved. Not just showing love the way you like it, but the way the other person relates to it. It is about compromise, about giving and taking, it is about communication, tolerance and above all that, it is about Love. Loving the way the person talks, the way person looks in the morning, the little habits, the way the person walks, wrinkles his/her nose, the way you feel complete when you look into each others eyes, the way he/she completes your sentences, reads you like a book and the way your fingers fit like a glove. Why do people not realise and not see these? The initial things that made them fall in love with one another.

I may not have been in a relationship long enough to understand, but I believe I'm someone who'll put in a conscious effort to let my other half know just how important his presence is in my life.

Many girls may not agree with my train of thought, but I do believe men and women play specific roles and some boundaries should never be crossed. For one, men should NEVER be house husbands. Men should take up the responsibility of the household, of bringing home the bacon and as much as women would like to argue, (that said, I have to say that I do believe in a woman's capabilities and abilities and am very sure that we can achieve as much), BUT, I believe women should focus more on being the nurturer of the family. You can work but don't make climbing the corporate ladder the main focus. Again, I know many girls will be shaking their heads when they read this, but that's just what I think.

When the day comes for me to be the girl in white, I wish I will walk down the aisle with my vow in hand, to tell my special someone, "If I had the chance to live my life again, I'd live it the exact same way simply because you're in it, I want to spend every living moment knowing that I will be walking down the aisle into your arms and spend the rest of my days growing old with you. Even as life gets routine, boring and tough, it's worth living because I'm living it with you, because you, complete me." I hope that in time to come, I'd find this special person that I'm looking for, this special someone who I'll pace my heart to, whose very presence makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. Till then.. I'm keeping my heart for him.