There really isn't a day that goes by where I don't think of her or miss her. It's been a few months, but sometimes it's really hard to not miss someone after having spent my whole life with her. Perhaps that's the pain that comes with losing someone, knowing just exactly what you've lost. I'm nursing that pain in my heart, it's not easy, I have to admit, but I know she'll want me to be strong and live life to my fullest.
Recent events have just made me realize a lot. Perhaps some friends need to know what they've lost before they'll come to a realization, or perhaps they might just realize, the friendship didn't mean much in the first place. I value my friendships and relationships, they mean a lot to me, not just the bond that has been formed, but the life and time that has been shared. I know it's foolish to think that my friends are like-minded, but I wish they were.
Some people might say that I've changed, I don't deny that I might have, but I've always been fundamentally the same as a friend. I know I'm not the sort who would spend countless of hours with you just doing silly stuff, but I'd be the one who would be there when you really need someone, someone who'd listen to you and someone you'd stand by you. Of course, this doesn't sound too fun as a package, does it.
I think I've just come to realize that sometimes, you can be there for people you care about, but it doesn't really mean that they'd be there to do the same. When I lost grand, they weren't there to understand nor support, neither did they bother finding out what actually was wrong. I just need my peace right now.
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