Sometimes, just sometimes, I fall into this zone, a zone where I reckon no one, but God, can take me out of. I'm not upset, I'm not unhappy, I'm not angry, I'm just not feeling right.
When someone you know leaves the world, someone you know hasn't received Christ, the loss is even greater and the pain even more. I ask myself why I never did share His word with him, was I too young, too immature and too incompetent to share His word with someone so much older.
It pains me so much to know that someone has left this world without receiving His salvation. My heart cries and aches at that thought. I think about all my family, friends and people that I love who have yet to receive Christ.. How much time do I have left to bring them to salvation? The thought scares me.. What happens if they never do?
I know I'm content at this point in time. I know I have the Lord's peace with me.. but at the same time.. As much as I try to think and tell myself it's over, it's all over and I've moved on, I know part of me hasn't. My intuition doesn't allow me to move on from where I left off. I am content, but my heart knows better that that's not all. I really don't know what to do. Lord. If this is not of your kingdom and not from you, please take it away.
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