The Commitment of Love and Purity

I'm endeavouring to finish When God writes your love story, not that it's not enjoyable, just that I haven't had the time to really sit and read. I'm halfway through it and I've had more "aha" moments than when watching all the episodes of Oprah put together. (yes, I watch Oprah) Last I wrote about the book, it was about the Beautiful side of love, about the Sweeter Song. This time, it's about the purity, both emotional and physical purity.

Purity has been something my friend and I discuss a lot about, don't get me wrong, it's not that both of us have differing views on it, it's just that we have had so many encounters with people who just don't understand the essence of purity, the reason for purity and the need for it. I feel for the people who do not understand the need for it simply because they will never understand the true essence and beauty of love, or experience the love that has been created and planned for us, by Him.

My cousin once told me, that among all of us, I'm the only one who dreams of a white picket fence and she told me not to have such high hopes for it, I understand where she is coming from, but honestly, I just feel that it is because she doesn't understand the concept of true love. Yes, people have called me idealistic for wanting that white picket fence, questioning that domestic side of me and questioning my "submission" to men, I thank God that I have never wavered in my stand and chose to hold true to my beliefs. My only explanation for their confusion, is cause they have yet to experience God and see love from His eyes.

Secular love has called out to many, in fact, it is the most fashionable kind of love to have and be in. This sort of love by my definition is shallow and is based mainly on physical attraction, the fear of loneliness and the spontaneity of the endocrine. The yearning for this sort of love is like a slippery slope, it never ends, you find emotional food and satisfaction from one person, pour out your emotions to him/her and when it all ends, when the "spark" is gone and chemistry doused, what is left is a deeper pit of emotional emptiness and the vicious cycle continues. I am no stranger to this yearning of companionship, I do struggle against this, and have once fallen in "love" and out of, felt that pain of your heart being mashed to pieces and the emptiness that follows. Luckily for me, or rather, I thank God that He led me out of it and I was spared falling into that bottomless pit of "love".

Being with someone should not be about him/her making you feel whole nor about them filling that void and loneliness. You should already be whole when entering the relationship, that void in your heart should have already been filled, as a Christian, your heart should be whole and full with the Love of God. That loneliness you have should be filled with a closer walk with God and not a closer walk with a person you're attracted to, because that walk is just simply temporal until you understand the true meaning of love. How can you love someone when you can't even love the person who made you, who created you?

What then is Love, you may ask.. I truly have no concrete answer, or rather, am not wise enough to give one, but at this point, I can only share with you love that I understand. Godly love, above all else, is love that is essential to me, it is what keeps me whole and fills me with such joy and contentment. It is this gift of Love for me that I can love others, forgive them and love people who do evil unto me. It is God's love that marks me, His love for me, so much so, that He gave His son as a living sacrifice for me. Honestly, I do not deny that at times, it is a struggle for me to exhibit this kind of Godly love to people, because they do get on my nerves too, but I try to remind myself, that it is this group of people that needs and lacks God's love.

Love between people, isn't just about attraction or a bunch of hormonal reactions, it's more than just that. Love between friends and that special someone, is a commitment. It is a commitment to actively love someone above all else. If love is based upon "chemistry" and "feelings" then it is love that cannot last, but if it is a promise to love someone with all your heart, to love them through all circumstances, it will be tough, that I can guarantee, but it will be the most rewarding and lasting form of love, one that conquers and commits.

It brings me to the issue of purity. We cannot deny that there is a social epidemic of immorality, the apathy and indifference to purity and at times, the mockery of it. We have become a generation that jokes and talks about sexual relationships and adventures without any sense of shame nor guilt. There are many out there who think that it's alright, life is short and many who just jump into the bandwagon thinking, if everyone is doing it, why can't I? Why keep myself pure when I can't even be sure if the person I'm keeping it for is doing the same? It is, of course, a valid question. But I know and have faith that if God has planned marriage for you and have planned for you to meet that right one He has for you, then I am very sure and certain, that this very person is keeping himself for you too, because He too, would have a fervour for God.

It starts with us, with us as individuals, to have that integrity and commitment to purity. If immorality started with just a few and then snowballing to what it is now, then I believe, it would also take us, as individuals, to influence the rest, the people around us, about the importance of purity. Keeping yourself for that one special person, males and females alike. I have many male friends and believe me, all of them, want to marry a girl that is pure and chaste. For the few guys who actually read this, if that's what you hope for in a girl, you can be sure that she expects that of you too!

Physical purity is just one aspect of purity, there is too, the emotional aspect of it. Not giving your heart to people who don't deserve it, because when you do and when they break it, part of you "dies" away. At the end of the day, when you marry that one person, when you find that one special person you want to live with for the rest of your life, all that is left is a heart that has been broken and patched and full of cracks. You can't Love wholeheartedly when you don't have a heart that is whole.

The shadows of past relationships and the heartaches will impede your love for that special person, you will naturally put up barriers when you've been hurt one too many times, you won't be able to love the person with all your heart, because you can only love him/her with what is left of it.

Some of you will go.. it's sort of too late, have been there, done that. But it is never too late. Letting God come into your life and take charge, letting Him heal your heart as you await His right one, allowing Him to teach you Love and letting Him show you how to love, these will change you. As you yearn to please Him, He will guide you and it won't be easy, but as long as you have the fervour for the Lord, you will get there. If you aren't Christian, it doesn't mean you let your life go and self destruct, because if you are in search of love and have yet to find it, then I really do hope the above sharing spoke to you.

I have made my commitment to God and to that special someone, though I've not met him, to keep my heart and myself for him, until He tells me that that's the one. Have you?

Just ranting!

Sometimes I just can't seem to understand why some people are just so SO self centered?!? I understand, I do, that sometimes it can get quite noisy along the corridors when girls gather to catch up and chit chat, but that's part of the college experience, what more, it's a girl's college, there's bound to be talking!

I won't mind the polite, "hey guys, i'm heading to bed, mind if you keep it down", or the "hey.. it's a tad too loud girls". That I totally understand, cause we can be a bit too rowdy! But to tell us to keep completely quiet and silent and not to talk at all?! Honestly! Or rather, not to talk along corridors because it isn't a common area.

There are two things that is wrong with that, 1. if the corridor isn't a common area, then where is?! It doesn't belong to anyone in particular or is a part of any one's room.. so that, by definition, is common area. and 2. If everyone on the same floor is alright with the noise and YOU are the only one that DOESN'T socialise, then the problem, obviously, lies with YOU!

Honestly, why can't some people just see that.. or self reflect, or ask why they aren't part of the conversation, why people shun them? This is after all college, we come from different cultures and countries, this is the time to know more and to network and to just forge bonds.

Can't they just understand that?

The knock on my door

I never knew how fast God works until today. It was just the day before that I prayed, and yesterday, just yesterday, He answered.

He started by knocking on a door, one that I was, honestly, quite reluctant to open. Not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't want to lose the feeling and the dependence, but He said to me, "you have to let Me come in and occupy this space, you don't need anything else in here but Me"! The moment I gave up, the moment I stopped struggling against His voice, I felt at peace and at ease. I felt that surge of courage to move on and to let my lil burden go.

It may sound cliche, but I think I found the spring in my step! =) God is Good!

The Beautiful Side of Love

The beautiful side of love. This was a phrase that stuck with me when I flipped through the first few chapters of When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric & Leslie Ludy, I believe it's a book that's going to make my tears roll, simply cause it already did. Somehow, I feel the writers, maybe cause I've been in similar situations and circumstances or maybe cause that's how I'm feeling. But I feel that this is the season.. The season where I give God the pen of my life and let HIM write, not only my life, but my love story and I know, it'd be more than beautiful, more than amazing.

There are times, I don't deny, that I ask God why, why it's taking me so long to find the right one, why those around me just don't seem right. Was it that hard?

But this morning, as I sat down and read the book, it just clicked.. It's taking so long for me to find the "right" one cause I have been looking for what I think was right and not what God thinks is right. That's why no one seems to fit. So right now, I give up searching for the "right" one, and let Him put His right choice in my life. He has everything planned out for me and I'm sure He'd find someone for me.

I'm waiting for His side of love to reveal, it has never been the right season before this, I wasn't ready, not because I wasn't emotionally available, but cause my "right" wasn't HIS right. Now that I know, I'm keeping my heart for that one person God has prepared for me and as much as people think that when you put God in the equation of a relationship, it gets boring, I'd beg to differ. God puts the Love in the relationship, He puts the right hue and tone to it, He'd paint a better picture and logically speaking, HE is the creator of LOVE and if there's someone who know the handbook of love best, it's gotta be HIM!

Right now, I know my heart is at peace and ready for Him to put the Right one in my life, cause the Beautiful side of love.. Is seen through His eyes.

A Special Boy

I just got home on friday, I'm not being figurative here, I really mean HOME! =) I was beaming like a kid when I got off the plane, saw my dad, soaked in the humidity, breathed in the Singapore air, *choked*, fell in love with my room, cried with my mom, hugged my lil boy and love my room even more. Yes. For a moment, I wasn't used to so much space! But that aside.. I want to dedicate this post to a special someone in my life, (no dears.. don't think too much, it's not what you think). But it is, however, about a special boy, someone who means a lot to me, someone I believe God has blessed me with. I know I rarely blog about my friends or people in general, but I do want to share him, as much as I can, with you, because he is such an Angel.



It hasn't been long, I know, barely even ten weeks, not even two months that I know him, but I have made this boy a part of my life, I have given him a special place in my heart. If you need to make a comparison, he's like Brendon, someone I love to bits, only difference is, Brendon's my older brother and him, my little one. And I'm just Blessed to have him in my life.



There's a quote that goes along the lines of "When God made you, He had Angels in mind" and I believe it is so for him. His name is Matthew, my lil brother, my dido.



Here's the hard part.. where or how do I even begin telling you about him?



Well.. Questions would be a good start..

Have you ever met someone for the first time, and instantly knew, that this guy or girl was a keeper, was someone whom you can keep close to your heart?


Have you ever met someone for the first time and knew right there and then, that this was a rare, gentle and shy soul?

Have you ever met someone who could see right through you and read your thoughts without you saying a thing?


Have you met someone who would so generously let you into his life and let you be a part of it?

Have you met someone who puts your safety as a priority and worries about you like family would?


Have you met someone who you know you can trust so implicitly and be so comfortable with that all the world's problems just seem to dissolve away?

Have you met someone who'd love you just the way you are and not asking for anything in return?

Have you met a guy whose soul and spirit is so sincere, so pure and so true that you know God is telling you to take care of him and guide him?

Have you met someone just for a short period of time and know that He is an angel that God has sent into your life?

I have.

That's him, that's Matt.

He's someone I know I can turn to, no matter what the circumstance, someone I know who will be there to walk with me, come what may. He was there with me through the hail storm, as afraid and "freaked" out as I was, I felt safe simply cause I knew God had sent an Angel to protect me through it. Through the whole college room fiasco, he was there to give me the support that I needed, to catch the tears when it fell and to catch me when I fell.. because I'd have crumpled under the whole emotional roller coaster. He has filled my life with so much laughter, so many smiles, he has been so generous with his friendship, kinship and love that I can't be more thankful and grateful.

If I ever need to define the phrase, "unconditional love", he'd be part of my definition.

Yes, this is my dido and as I read this new book, The Wednesday Letters by Jason F. Wright, I chance upon a poem that is so apt and I'm going to dedicate this poem to him..

The Fifth Season

With each spring comes new life,

energy and green growth.

In summer comes the sun, warm, kind,

and endearing.

Fall brings its colour in careful,

gentle change.

Winter brews into faithful strength,

beauty in pure white.

And then comes you.

You are all that Nature offers,

a blessing, a gift from Father.

You are the fifth season.

Because that's what he is, that's what you are dido.. A blessing and a gift from Father.

God is Good!

Time seems to be moving faster than I can catch it. I've been in Perth for about 6 weeks and it's been a ride, a good awesome one, of course. I've met new people, made new friends, stepped out of my comfort zone, ran right back in. Challenged myself, pushed myself, questioned myself. I've cried, I've laughed, cried even more and laughed even harder. But all in all, I've been awesome. Or rather, God has been AMAZINGLY AWESOME! I can't say this more.

How's uni? To be honest, the campus isn't as High-tech as NUS's, neither is it bigger, in fact, it's really tiny, probably the size of two of our faculties put together, but then again, it's not that bad. =) I am totally enjoying my classes to bits, I Love LOVE LOVE LOVE dentistry to Bits! I know I totally am in this for the right reasons! =) and even when I'm studying the molecular biology stuff now, I am enjoying it, the mentality is very different from how it was in NUS. I reckon it is cause I know I'm doing this for a greater purpose and purely out of love!

I've submitted my drawings and plasticine tooth for marking, I don't really know how I'll perform for my first assignment, I'm actually quite excited to know how I did and for the other stuff that is coming up!

Will blog more when I actually have time to! =) But here are pictures of my master pieces, enjoy!

Here's my plasticine tooth model, the one on the right is the plaster tooth that we were supposed to copy, so the one on the left is moulded by.. Yours truly!

And here's probably the nicest thing I've ever, EVER drawn in my life. the Right Mandibular Molar and its five aspects. =) Hope I do well enough!

My first class!

It's been a long time since I actually blogged! I didn't really have the time to sit down and type something. Well, OZ has been great, but more importantly, God has been even better! He has given and provided for me so abundantly that it is beyond imagination, the kind of grace I'm receiving. It is indeed overwhelming!

Well.. I had my first dentistry class yesterday and my first op-tech today. It's awesome! I feel so empowered and recharged just studying it and to be honest, I feel really blessed being able to sit with the dental class. This is why I'm here and what I'm here for, I'm even more sure than ever that this is exactly what I wanna do and would love doing for the rest of my life. Honestly, I've never been so excited about class and just familiarising myself with the tools and the drills just made me SOOOOOO HAPPY! You cannot imagine, I was beaming like a kid! Serious.

Above all that, I know I'm here with the love and support of all my family and friends, I feel so privileged. I don't know what I'd do without them. Time to study now!