Wait

I am at a point where I don't know if no news, is truly good news.

I'm hanging on to this thin thread of hope.. Waiting for a helping hand to give me that leap of faith and vote of confidence.

What more can I do?

Blessed!

I'm really blessed.

Even though there is still so much in me that is hoping for a miracle to happen. I want this really bad, but I believe despite these obstacles, blessings are always in abundance.

For once in my life, or rather, uni life, I actually did it. I know it may not seem like a big deal to many, but for someone who has always been the "buffer" of the bell curve, technically, it's a real achievement.

I'm also really thankful for my mom.. I feel extremely blessed for parents who are so encouraging and supportive of my dreams. Plus so willing to be extravagant with me.. Went for the Club 21 private sale with mom, they had beautiful flower displays in the middle of the shop, or rather, all over the shop, with fantastic finger food and imagine, all that PLUS being surrounded by exquisite clothing! The experience was FANTASTIC! They didn't bring in their second line labels, mainly the AX, Diesel and DKNY, but they had Alexander McQueen (I LOVE!), Lanvin, Moncler, Marc Jacobs and etc.. I tell you.. Fashion is a TOTAL addiction. Anyway.. I'm just really thankful and blessed!

Loved the shopping, Love the Hoping, Loving the dream come true..

We will overcome

It is in times of desperation that we can find the strength to overcome.

It is in times of great want that we can find the determination to carry on.

It is in times of difficulties that we see the value of true friendship.

Now is the time to fight on, to press on.
This is a generation of change and for change,
this is a generation that will fight against the economic tsunami and the global unrest.
Despite the comforts of life that we grew up with, this is the time that we rose above ourselves and above expectations to overcome.


I will keep these in mind, that with determination, I will carry on and with faith, I will overcome.

How?

How am I going to do this?
I do not know. I seriously have no idea.

I don't know if I have enough strength in me to just carry on facing disappointment after disappointment. To be honest, I'm more of afraid than anything else. I may jokingly laugh it off, but how much it hurts, no one knows. The want just burns till it hurts and I finally understand what they mean by loving something until it hurts.

I won't run away and not face it. I know I will regret for the rest of my life if I didn't give it my best shot. I'm just praying for strength and courage to face whatever that may come. If you can.. Pray for me.

Nerves

I have never.. NEVER been more nervous in my ENTIRE life..

Taking my grade 7 exam wasn't even half as bad!

Friday. Submission of documents.

I was literally shaking the whole morning, I couldn't even hold my pen firmly. I don't know if my friends noticed, but I had to focus extra hard so as not to let my nerves get the better of me.

Goodness. This isn't the end of the road if I don't get it. But it will seriously hurt and kill. I've cried a thousand times over this, over rejections and over the love I have for it. If only I didn't love it so much then letting go won't be a problem at all.

I'm not trying to be a pessimist even before the results are out! But if ever anything on The Secret works.. Then I'm really trying to SUMMON all the ENERGY in the world to help me make this work!

Blessed

I'm blessed.

By the friends who stand by me..
Who pin point my mistakes without mercy and lend me their shoulders when I get all teary.
Who make my day with a smile, a message and a hug, drop me little messages to let me know I'm still remembered.

By my teachers and mentors who have faith in me..
Who believes in my aspirations and my dreams as much as they believe in me.
Who encourage me to never give up, cause tenacity will always do its part.

By my family who loves me so..
Who catches me when ever I fall and gives me the confidence to stand up tall.
Who never fails to warm my heart, with words, with love and a warm fuzzy hug.

Most importantly, because of God's mercy and love..

I am Blessed.

For those who made my day so special on the 14th.. Thank you. Be it a message, a call or great company, Thank You. It would not have been so perfect if not for you. I am blessed because there's you.

I've Got You

There ain't no sunshine,

just raindrops falling.

No bright moonlight,

just clouds in the sky.

There's no shoulder to lean on,

nor a hand to hold.

There's no bright light shining,

neither an open door.

I am walking alone,

voices of others drowned.

No one's footsteps to pace,

No one's to race.

I am walking blindly,

with Him guiding me.

I am walking alone,

but He, is watching over me.

I don't know where I'm going,

it's His footsteps I'm following.

I don't know what my future holds,

but with of Him, I'm bold.

I'm walking down this road,

an end I do not see.

There's no shoulder to lean on,

just faith to lead me on.

Sounds drowned, footsteps muffled,

it's His whisper that I hear.

I am alone,

but my heart is whole.

His love overwhelms me,

and His promise I hold.

His grace carries me through,

and with Him, I'm never blue.

I am walking alone,

but I've always got You.

-Jocelyn