Thursday, July 15, 2010

the Complexity of Relationships

4 weeks. 28 days. 672 hours. 40320 minutes. 2419200 seconds.

That's the amount of time I'm supposed to be back for, but it just flew by.. In exactly 7 days, this time, I'd be in Perth, in room 149 of Upper Prescott. Come to think of it, it's really scary, the thought that 5 years is just going to fly by. It feels like a pretty long time, but soon enough, it'll be convocation again, this time, I hope, with (hons).

The holiday back home is really a good time to catch up, with family, friends and most importantly sleep. At least, I know I'm paying off the interest of my sleep debt. On top of all that, I had many interesting conversations with my aunts and friends. You know you've moved on to the next phase in life when conversations revolve around life plans, investments, weddings and more significantly, electrical appliances. =) But I had a discussion with my aunts the other day, we were just talking about why women of today are getting married later or rather, not getting married at all and why divorce rates are on the rise.

I get common reasons like, women no long need to rely on men to bring home the bacon, women are more career driven, women no longer need to put up with men and so on. I do not deny that women empowerment has given women a place in the workforce, allowing them to provide for themselves, especially in Singapore, to contribute as much to the family, financially, as men. This may be one of the reasons why women aren't afraid to live without a man, but honestly, I don't think it is the reason to why women look for divorce as solutions.

If we break it down to the basics, women fundamentally are made to be more nurturing and in a Christian relationship and household, women hold the family together, they are the caretakers. I am appalled at times that some women don't take up this role as willingly as others would, but in all honesty, being financially independent is not the reason why women turn to divorce.

Society looks to the change in a woman's status and matches it to the divorce rates but we have yet to look at the role of a male, and how it has, as well, changed over the years. Men were the providers of the family in the past, they were the sole breadwinners, but one thing men of the past did, was to take responsibility. They were, MEN.

Honestly, in my opinion, it's not that hard for a marriage or a relationship to workout, yes, it requires effort and work, but if you stick to the fundamental principles, it honestly isn't rocket science.

For women to respect their husbands, likewise, men are to take up the responsibility of the household and carry themselves in a way that is respectable, simply, if you want to be respected, you've got to behave in a way that deserves it. Fidelity, loyalty, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, love and most importantly, forbearance with love.

The thing about society today is that the practice of these qualities are near non-existent in the lives of many. Like every thing else, it requires effort and practice, right from the beginning. For men to respect women, and husbands to practice all of the above values, it starts not from the time you say "I do", but way before. Keeping yourself pure for your precious bride and learning to love her even before knowing her. Women aren't complex creatures, we ultimately just want our spouse to love us just the way we are, to love us like no other person would and to love with security. If a guy keeps himself pure and behaves in a respectable chivalrous manner, his wife would definitely feel reassured and things like these build up respect.

Well, the complexities of society and how it has changed and morphed male and female familial roles may seem complicated, yet to me, there's such a simple, effortless solution, or rather, way of living.. That is to live in accordance to God's word and living by His word and building a relationship/family that is God centered. When we do that, it is not hard nor impossible nor unimaginable for us to have a strong and fruitful relationship.

This is again, another one of my random blabbering moments. On a less serious note, I got a message this morning that made my day, a message that once again, plastered a huge smile in my heart. It's a bitter feeling to leave home for Perth, it definitely is, but there is this special someone that I'm looking forward to meet. A special someone that I haven't seen for what seems to be eternity. There isn't a single day that goes by through this holiday that I don't think of him and miss him. Don't ask me why, cause I don't know either, why this special someone has found his way and place in my heart so fast and so effortlessly.. It usually doesn't happen this way, but I suppose when I let God take control, HE plants feelings in me that I never knew I had.

So to my special someone, (I don't know if you actually read my blog, but if you do..) Thank you for making my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.. I can't wait to see you soon!


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