It's been a long time

It's been such a long time.. A long time since I've felt this way.

It been a long time since I actually enjoyed studying, not just enjoying it, but Loving it. (apart from the non-dental stuff) You know how when you go to class and you just understand what's going on, you know exactly what your lecturer is talking about! That's how it is for me here, I love what I'm studying! I enjoy it and it excites me going to school and learning all that I need to.

And it is because of this love, passion and excitement that it sucks so much leaving an exam feeling that I have just stuffed up. That disappointment was just so intense. I know the paper was just 20% of my final grade and I know I can and will do whatever I can for the next semester to make sure I make up for this. But.. that disappointment that I didn't do as well as I wanted to. I won't really mind if someone else was disappointed at me (family aside), but when I feel disappointed at myself.. That feeling.. can't be described. As hard as I tried, I couldn't smile..

It's been such a long time since I've felt so alive about my books, about my subjects, about my units.. It's been a long time since I felt so much joy and at the same time, it's been a long time since I felt such disappointment.

On a lighter note, much lighter and happier note, it's also been a long time since I felt my heart skip a beat, a long time since someone can put such a huge smile on my face.. I don't know what's going to happen after the holidays, I'm leaving it up to God to lead... But right now, I'm glad he's in my life. For one, at least I know I'm not the only weird person on earth with un-norm preferences. Apart from San churro's and the awesome chocolate, I know it was just his presence that was so comforting. Tu me manques.