There's a line from a song that keeps playing in my head.. "I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again.." Ok. I do know when I'll be back, but I've been preparing myself for Perth. There are many things that I can't bear to leave behind but have to, there are people whom I'll so dearly miss for months on ends before I'll see them again. That's going to be the case for the next couple of years, five years to be exact.
Five years. It isn't an absurdly long time, neither is it short, but I'll be away for five years. I'll miss five new years, five birthdays and five.. a lot more. All these I knew I had to give up so that I can live my dream, so that I can live my life living my dreams. I'm sure it will all be worth it.
Things are different now that I'm leaving, emotions are different too. Like how I cherish every moment with my friends, making the best of meeting new friends and trying to keep every memory fresh in my heart.
That aside, I was just chatting with a friend and I was just reminded of how male-ish my way of thinking is. In the form of crisis management and even dealing with interpersonal relationships. I somehow just won't over-think things, unless I'm being influenced by many girls! haha. I don't exactly know if it's a good or bad thing. But on the other hand, I've got people telling me that I'm not boyish at all.. Which I actually feel quite happy hearing BUT I don't know if it is said out of sympathy or sincerity. Being more domestic and loving cooking, baking and needlework doesn't define femininity. I think.
Oh well.. Don't worry, I know very well that I'm female, just can't establish whether I'm more masculine or more, as my guy friend puts it, xiao nu ren. I am a girl of many contradictions.
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