December

December.. I always have mixed feelings about December. It's the last month of the year yet in it holds a very important day that I love to celebrate. Not just for the gifts, shopping and whole festive mood, but for the very reason that, Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Christ. It's a time of renewal and reflection.. and it is this very reflection that I have quite a love hate relationship with.

At the end of the 12 months of the year, you reflect and think about all that you've done and accomplished all year, all the people you've reached out to and the others that you help. You think of all the snide remarks that you have made and the demeaning stares that you give. Yet you think of the number of people whom you have touched and gave a smile to. Where does the scale tip towards to?

Can surviving yet another grueling year of uni be considered an accomplishment? Or maybe having to do and juggle so many things all at once? Are these accomplishments?

When you challenge yourself at something and overcome it, momentarily, you're satisfied and happy, but when you look back at the whole 365 days, that one little moment would seem so insignificant. Can you have fruitful moments but a not so fruitful year?

I wonder how many people feel the way I feel about December.. the Optimism of a new year ahead and the pessimism that one hasn't accomplished much for the past year.

This is a feeling, that is so hard to fathom.