It's 4 in the morning and I'm sitting on my bed thinking of what to type. No, I'm not typing out of boredom, but it's more of, there's so much going through my mind that I can barely pick what to type. If you're wondering, no, I'm not suffering from insomnia, I just can't get to sleep when my brain's processing thoughts.
I was out this evening, caught a movie. Well.. No prizes for guessing it right.. Sex and the City.
To be honest, I enjoyed the movie tremendously, there were moments that tickled me silly, scenes that warmed my heart and others just brought tears to my eyes.
Why I enjoyed the flick? Believe me, it's not for the reasons that you have going through your mind. No. It wasn't the stark butts, hot bods or the "bedroom" or if you wish, the other part of the house scenes that made the show so thought provoking. And neither was it the fabulous bags, amazing heels and couture fashion.
What I enjoyed most about it was that there were parts of the movie that I believe many can relate to, and truth to be told, I could relate to them too. Especially one part of the movie where Sarah Jessica Parker narrated, after the big break up, that she was afraid that she'd never be able to laugh again. All her friend said was that she would, once she saw something that would make her laugh again, and she did. (go catch the show if you wanna know what I'm talking about).
I actually did once ask myself that. Would I ever be able to laugh the way I did, would I ever be able to smile without needing to shed a thousand tears or would I ever be able to find love again?
Some of you may think it's silly, but I believe that we, in one way or another, have faced such situations. But on hindsight, when I asked myself these questions then, I asked them with a heart that was so badly broken, with memories so torn and with hope so lost. I asked myself whether I would be able to smile and laugh the same way I did only because I believed that my heart would never heal from a shatter so severe. I thought my heart would never feel the same, would never beat the same way and would probably lose it's pace, cause the person it paced itself to, had left it broken and in pain.
Just as how SJP had friends to be with her every part of the way, I had mine. My team of friends who were there to catch me each time I couldn't move on and fell backward. I had my group of friends who stood by me and filled every lonely day, every missing moment. It was then that i realised that these are the people who'd be there to love you just the way you are, no matter what, no matter when. These are the people who'd mend your broken heart by giving you their love. These are the people who'd hold on to your heart, protect it and tell you that you deserved better. They'd do all the scolding, all the cursing and feel all the indigence for you, simply cause they care.
It is this share of love that is so often forgotten, so often neglected when we become oblivious and conceited. I know that was how my broken heart was healed, not by finding a substitute nor other means, but it was by looking at all that i had, all that I have been blessed with and seeing the tremendous love in all that, in all that I already had. We don't have to seek love elsewhere, because life around you is filled with it, you just have to stop, see and listen and you'll realise that love is indeed all around.
Don't worry, I'm not bringing this up cause I'm all missing and yearning, but I'm bringing this up because I have come to terms, quite a long long time ago, that I am glad to have lost that love I've lost and to have my heart broken to bits. Cause it was because of that, that i found genuine love that would never waver, love that mended my heart and made it stronger than it was.
I now laugh with joy that I never had then, I now go about with life full of the love that I know can never be lost and is mine to keep. Now you know why I loved the flick so much? Ask me if I'm skeptical of a fairytale ending? Let me tell you, I believe all of us have one, it's just for us to find, to keep and to work towards to. True love and happy endings don't come effortless, they require commitment, faithfulness, perseverance, tolerance and graciousness. Most importantly, for me, it requires the child like faith in God and in making Him the center of your life. In that way, a happy ending is not too far from reach.
Just as long as we live, not in search for love that could be lost, but in appreciation of the love that has already been given. And the love, given from that one special person, would take you down the road of that very happy ending.
I wish you all the love that you deserve and to those girls that I mentioned above, you girls know who you are and to all of you, thank you for your unfaltering love, I hereby pledge you mine. Cheers to us! Love ya!
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