Perhaps..

I'm in the middle of studying for a test and I guess I just want to let some thoughts out, like in harry potter with the Pensieve, I need my blogsieve.

I'm just pondering upon the thought of.. when is it the right time to say "why do I even bother?". I can't seem to bring myself to act on it, I'd be lying if I said I never think of that, but I've never acted upon it. Somehow in that heart of mine, I just can't bring myself to. Perhaps it's just altruistic? That I can't bring myself to not care or give up trying and stop hoping.

If someone you care about don't make it an effort to remember what you've done for them or given them, or not remember any of the somewhat comforting promises they make, when then do you say, "honestly, why do I even bother?". Is there a number to it? I know of many people who'd be mad/disappointed that all of their love and effort was not remembered or even unfortunately, forgotten. I would like to be mad, I'd like to be angry, but at the end of the day, I'm neither of that, just slightly cut/hurt that all that effort wasn't worth remembering.

It does come to a point in my head where I ask myself, why.. and my only logical answer to that is.. Love. Just like how God loves.. He never gives up, He never stops loving. so why should we?

Does this count as discontentment?

Perhaps I try too hard or too much and I shouldn't. Perhaps what they all say about letting someone love you more than you love them is right. Perhaps I'm just thinking a bit too much. Perhaps I'm just on one of those days and moments. But perhaps, just perhaps, there's a little part inside of me that wishes for that little bit more TLC. Just for a change, to be completely cared for and not needing to care. To perhaps have a splitting version of me, just caring and loving me the way I would others. I don't know why I have that many "perhaps" today.. I just do.. cause perhaps today.. I'm asking myself.. why do i bother.

Random thought of the day..

As a healthcare professional, I'm responsible for someone's well being, especially their dental/oral health, but who then, takes care of us and our well being? When you're in an institution that doesn't really care about you, BUT what YOU CAN DO for them, who then cares for your mental sanity? If you're always caring for others, do they actually reciprocate? Or are people in healthcare just innately caring yet low maintenance themselves?

I actually don't know. I'd love to say that we don't need that TLC, but sometimes it's good that others know that we're flesh and blood, that we burn out and we do appreciate that concern too. Sometimes it's just tiring to have to be that happy smiley person.

Things they never told you about being a Dental Student

Things they never told you about being a Dental Student

1. When people said, "Say goodbye to your life" when you enrolled, they WERE NOT kidding, they were merely stating a fact.

2. Your home basically becomes a place where you only sleep.

3. You spend so much of the day at uni that you only go home when it's dark and leave the next morning at the crack of dawn.

4. You learn how to speak "patient language" and somehow automatically switch that mode on when someone talks teeth.

5. You become hypersensitive to anything between teeth and feel absolutely comfortable telling someone that they have something between their teeth, regardless of whether or not they'll feel embarrassed. 

6. No matter how handsome/pretty someone is, bad teeth will always be a deal breaker.

7. Conversations always end up about teeth.

8. You get annoyed when someone says "medical school is so much harder", because you know that's not true! 

9. You realise most dental students fall into the same stereotype. Slightly obsessive, perfectionistic, high strung, probably mental, yet you'd proudly claim it.

10. You never realise just HOW politically correct your speech becomes, especially dealing with higher authority! 

11. You eat more junk than you ever have, drink more coffee or caffeinated drinks than ever, study about the bad eating habits and get away with it because... you're a dental student.

12. People judge your teeth when they know you're in dental school.. Which is.. Not fair. 

13. No one recognises the hours you spend in the lab to fabricate something for them, they only see it when it's flawed.

14. You never realise how emotional you can get when things go wrong, or how helpless you can feel about situations. Some situations in dental school.. you can never be in control of. 

15. You feel a sense of satisfaction when a patient remembers what you taught them about oral hygiene and when they thank you for cleaning their teeth.

After all the long hours, the sweat, the blood and the occasional tears, it becomes all worth it when you know you've changed a person's habits and showed them what clean teeth should really be. Yes. Dental school is all consuming, it demands excellence from you, it builds you up to be someone you were not, it gives you the responsibility of someone else's health, it tests your tenacity, your resilience and your perseverance. For many, it builds character. I won't ever say dental school is easy, much less encourage anyone to enrol unless they have real passion for it, because it's not for the fickle minded nor the faint hearted. It's not for the money nor the prestige, (let's face it, how prestigious is it looking down someone's throat everyday?). It's for the true desire to provide a service to help, to improve lives and make a difference. At least that's what dental school is for me. 

Contentment

What exactly is contentment?

Is contentment the state of always being joyful and happy? Can we be content in an unjust event, in unfortunate situations and draining circumstances? Can we truly be content in trying times?

The answer is yes. We can be content. Contentment, simply put, is the knowledge that despite the circumstance, you know God has His best interests for you, no matter how tough or how painful, you know His grace is sufficient. That you don't have to try or work to earn His love, He has already loved you and gone before all of your circumstances and taken control of it. Isn't that just a wonderful reality?

What I realised at the Perth Women's convention is also the fact that God didn't say you can't complain or grumble or be upset or lament at a situation. He wants you to.. But not to others about how He is insufficient, but to bring your cares and woes directly to Him and He will be gentle and loving to you. This is my father  who wants to hear me, He knows my worries and my woes, yet he hears me and holds me close. This is my father who loves me so dearly and in His love, I am content.

Isn't it bizarre? How we always crave and yearn for that something more when we have so much? Or how we easily complete the sentence of.. "I wish I had...", "if only I could..", "If only I had...". Perhaps it's these questions that cause our discontentment. Perhaps fulfilling these statements wouldn't bring us true contentment. Momentarily, for sure, but permanently? There must be something in this world that could satisfy us.. Right?

And it's so simple.. yet.. so easily forgotten.. If we aren't content, then why not look to the maker of the universe, the One who has everything and wants to give you everything in His kingdom? Would that not answer all of those questions and be a permanent solution to discontentment?

I wish for my friends to find contentment in the knowledge of God's Love and Grace. Because for once in my life, I am content. =)

Dating epiphanies

Mid exam period. Goodness me. I think stress has taken a different form and level. I've never felt that much fear and anxiety nor stressed induced crying. You may think I probably should have been quite accustomed to exam stress, just cause I've had so many already, but sitting for an exam for something that I love, is a totally different experience. I'm glad I had his shoulders to cry on and his embrace to give me comfort.


Well.. Just recently, I read an article online, and I find it funny cause I think every chef's significant other would have the same experiences about dating and about life. =)


Here's the article:

10 Things They Don’t Tell You About Dating a ChefPosted on May 17, 2012 by Terree

I recently came across this short article in Yahoo’s Shine by Tweeter/Blogger photographer Annie Wang Kraft and I can so relate to her. I’ve dated both doctors and chefs. Both have lousy hours – - but doctors generally make a helluva lot more money to make up for the crazy hours. On the other hand, most chefs don’t believe they walk on water, and are better lovers than doctors. So if you still have romantic notions about dating a chef, after reading the Top 10 below, then follow the link to her blog & Twitter page to read about her daily life.

1. They rarely cook for you at home. Everyone always assumes that I have a magnificent home-cooked meal waiting for me all the time, but that is far from the truth. Why? Because a restaurant kitchen is usually a million times more fun to cook and experiment in. It often has high end gadgetry that you probably do not have (or can fit) in your home kitchen. If you rent in New York City, then you might understand the rarity of a full sized stove and oven.

2. But you really do eat like a king or queen. Chefs are passionate about their art and they’re very serious about it. They show their emotions through food and they often use food to romance you. You’re in for a spectacular surprise once you dine in your significant other’s restaurant or meet them for lunch. They might just surprise you with a gourmet picnic meal.

3. Date nights are not on the weekends. I’ve come to accept the fact that I’ll have to go out to a lot of events and gatherings by myself. Weekends — aka when many social events happen — are the busiest days in the restaurant industry. But the great thing about weird chef schedules is that they often get Sundays or Mondays off — the perfect day to go to a new restaurant or cocktail lounge that’s normally hard to get into.

4. Every moment counts (maybe a little bit more). It’s so tough when they’re working nights and you’re working days that it can be difficult to find overlapping free-time you can spend together. I savor every little trip and outing with my husband — even grocery shopping. There was a period when we rarely saw each other, so much so that I would skip birthday parties and appointments to be with him. It’s difficult for some people to understand, but we’ve learned to make it work. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” sure sounds cheesy, but a chef’s wife knows it is probably true.

5. You get to experience an amazing variety of restaurants. I’ve been to tiny under-the-radar restaurants because my husband loves discovering new restaurants and trying new foods he hears about in the chef circuit. I would have never bothered to visit these eclectic mix of restaurants otherwise.

6. You’re going to learn so many crazy food words by accident. You’ll be spouting off words like “mignardises,” “transglutaminase,” and “thermal immersion circulator” before you can say Vol-au-Vent. You’ll hear chefs talk about cooking techniques or their newest experiments all the time like geeky teenage boys. Eventually, you’ll pick up the words and actually understand what they’re saying. If you asked me what these words meant before I met my husband, I would’ve given you a blank stare and assumed you were trying to explain a weird science fiction novel, but now I’m pretty much a food geek, too.

7. You become insanely sensitive to the dining experience. And you’ll garner sympathy for front-of-the-house staff and the kitchen staff. (Especially if you’re eating at your significant other’s restaurant.) Improper dining etiquette will annoy the hell out of you, like rude behavior (people who invite themselves to sit down when they don’t have a reservation) and crappy tipping (for the record, servers should be tipped 20%). Grr! I’m annoyed just thinking about these things. Let’s move on.

8. People will ask you for restaurant recommendations and cooking tips. Or they ask you to ask him. Because I’m married to a chef, I’ve suddenly become a walking cookbook/food guide. Sometimes people will ask me for recommendations for a cuisine I’m not familiar with and I’ll feel flustered or embarrassed for not knowing it (not that I’m supposed to anyways).

9. You’ll try foods you would normally never try. It usually starts out with my husband saying, “Here. Try this.” You might think that I’m gullible, but I trust him even though I’ve ended up trying all sorts of weird offal dishes because of him. I’m actually glad I just dig in and try all this unique food without asking. I’ve definitely become less of a picky eater and I do love fried sweetbread now (even though I still o not want to think too much about what it is, anatomically).

10. Patience is key, especially when you’re married to a chef. I’m still figuring this one out myself. Things will come up at restaurants unexpectedly. It can be anything from a group of diners who came in late, rowdy patrons at the bar, or something in the kitchen took longer to prepare than anticipated. He might not be able to get home until 3 a.m., and considering how little I see him, it can be particularly frustrating. Things happen that are beyond your control and the only thing you can really do it be patient and wait. But realistically, who wants to wait around for someone all night? Remember, though: you might go to sleep alone, but you’ll wake up next to the person you love — and it’s worth it.

Here's the link to the original article:Original article: 10 things they don't tell you about dating a chef

Well.. I guess I have to agree.. the longs hours, the hours of absence, the non-present presence in gatherings and the "I wish you were here" moments. I guess it takes a certain kind of girl to date a chef.. one who appreciates the what little, yet precious time we have together, one who enjoys food as much as they do, one who loves the person behind the chef whites to stand by him and brave the storms, come what may. Life may not be as easy or as rosy, but the journey.. spectacular. I guess what's key.. is not patience, but LOVE. and... I LOVE YOU!

Garments of the Lord

I've had a valuable weekend. To be taught a lesson on graciousness and love. SMA conference was such a blessing, just speaking to people in my profession, Christian dentists who uphold the value of Christian healthcare, who live by the word and for the word in our profession. It's not just about being a Christian in healthcare, but being Christian Healthcare. Doing every single thing for the Lord and through the Lord. 


I have often just relied on my own strength to achieve something, but how silly of me to think that God doesn't care about the little things I do. He does. He cares about every single thing that I do in dentistry, He'll use every moment to bless others and to show others His grace. It's not me in dentistry, I'm just a tool for God to do His works in dentistry. 


It was such an empowering message over the weekend, to be clothed in God's clothing. That's all we need. God has prepared the garments for us, garments of love


      " And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." -Colossians 3: 14


Love binds all other virtues together, v12 Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. These are how we are to clothe ourselves as Christians. To wear these garments and bless other people through it. People will be drawn to love, especially God's love. 


I can't help but feel so humbled by Grace, humbled because I know I often fall short of wearing these garments. My previous post is a good example of that and a reminder to myself that I often fall short of showing God's love. It is for me to consciously endeavour to clothe myself in the garments of the Lord. 

ONE SCUM

Just saying.. I'm writing this in a very very emotional state of mind, yet for some reason, rational. I'd like to be a girl and kick up a big fuss but I'm trying to find that patience in me to not. If you guys know me well enough, I'm GENERALLY a very nice person and I let things pass, not to say I let people walk all over me, but I let things pass. But sometimes when someone crosses paths with me and chooses to step on my toes, not once but all the time, then I have to apologise, cause this GENERALLY nice person will NOT BE ANYMORE.

Think of the most obnoxious person you've ever met in your life, multiply that by ten and place the most annoying face you can think of on that person, then piece that with the fact that he uses God's word against you to speak DOWN to you and not embody a single trait of God's word, yes.. place that with the fact that he is rude and arrogant too. (ok. you get my point)

Let's just say I had to work with such a person while organising an event, and it is THE MOST unpleasant experience ever. So much so that I don't even want to be a part of this anymore. It breaks my heart to say this, but I just can't find any "nice-ness" in me anymore to look this person in the eye without my blood boiling. And in true spirit of a lady, when you meet a prick as such, you do not confront, (because all well brought up ladies should never), but you treat them indifferently. You do not be mean to them or say anything inappropriate, because it's not befitting for a lady to do so.. So in your (rather, mine) sphere of life, this person VANISHES. i.e.: In my dictionary, he is non-existent.

So here's my dilemma, he's in the ex-co of the organisation that I'm in, and I'm in the ex-co too. What should I do? In all honesty, everyone would tell me to forgive and forget and you don't get to choose who you work with in life. Of course, I do understand that, but we are also given a choice to NOT WORK with them. To subject myself to anymore of his hypocrisy and arrogance would need me to be an eternal hypocrite, because I can't even bring myself to be politically correct and socially polite to him. (YES. you now know the extent to HOW PEEVED I AM)

I want to step down from my responsibilities, I'll tidy the knots and hand it over to them, but I really cannot see myself working with such a scum, I really can't. I have never felt so much anger towards one single person and I can't bring myself to be angry over someone unworthy of existence in my sphere of life.

I don't even know what the Christian thing to do is. Really.

On the brighter side of things, I'm so so blessed to have wonderful friends who so sacrificially offer their help. I'm so blessed to have friends who understand and care.. You know who you are. And of course, I'm so SO Blessed to have a boyfriend who stands up for me, who feels indignant for me, who would, I know, take down any guy who bullies me and comforts me the way I need to be comforted.

Indeed, sometimes you need scums in your life as a reminder of how wonderfully awesome those around you are.