Clinic Blessings

I used to think that being a dentist, I'd be able to bless people's life. I had all the intention to do what I can to make their lives better, to give them a gift of wonderful smiles, little did I know that the person whose life would change and would be blessed is not just theirs, but mine.

I finally have taste of what it is to be a true clinician. It doesn't matter anymore how well I perform on a dummy head, it doesn't matter anymore what my grades are, what matters is that my patients feel as comfortable as they can, what matters is that their well-being is taken care of, their concerns are addressed. What I thought being a dentist would be has turned out to be a dream come true, only better.

I enjoy my time with my patients, I love talking to them and doing what I can to give them my best. From 8 to 80, regardless of age, they've blessed my life and taught me lessons I never dreamt of having. It has truly been rewarding. I have been taught lessons of patience, of communication, of understanding, of genuine concern and most of all, love.

A patient of mine shared her love story with me and to see a 60 year old lady light up when she talks about her partner just brings so much joy to my heart. She talks to him like they are teenage lovebirds just falling in love again, she talks about him like he is such a treasure to her, he goes beyond the extra mile to care for her and to love her and despite her physical ailments, choose to marry her and take care of her. I respect that love, that intense chemistry and companionship. "How wonderful would that be for every girl to find that perfect man." those were her exact words.

For her, it was just a matter of marrying her best friend. As much as that may sound cliche to many, are words of true wisdom and experience. Girls in this day and age are looking for a guy to TREAT her like a princess, when what they should be looking for is a man who would CHERISH them like a princess. It is for a man to care for her and love her even more than the way he would care for himself. It is for a man to love her selflessly and put her in mind before anything else. These men are rare.

I wonder whether it is because we have STOPPED expecting. I know there are men out there who are like that and I know there possibly are men out there in the making to be like that. I am dating my best friend and he happens to be one of them.

Always a child

I was at Church today and had a chat with one of the ladies, a young mother of two. It was interesting, her thoughts on motherhood and how it exemplified our relationship with Christ, the more she told me, the more I realised, how terrible a child I am.

She gave me an analogy, how she wanted to take her two year old to SciTech for a day out, yet on the way to SciTech, her child kept pointing to a park and said "park, park, park". It was exasperating for her cause she wanted to take her child to a place that was more fun and more exciting than a park, yet all the child wanted was her way. She said, "I want to take her to a better place that would be ten times better than what she wants". 

Doesn't it just sound so familiar, how we as children think we know better and let our folly and ignorance get in the way of God's greater plans. Simply because we think we know better, or we're too stubborn and want our way. Isn't it so true that sometimes we fail to see His greater plans, we turn away from them to fulfil our own desires. How foolish are we.. How foolish have I been. 

She said, ''it's already so hard with a child, we know we love them to bits, yet we have to discipline them at times too.'' We want the best for them, yet they think they know best. Indeed. I image it to be so hard and tough with a child, what more a world of children who not only disobey, but deny, turn away and run from you time and time again. Yet, our God, being so gracious and loving, always chases us and welcomes us with open arms. 

What struck me even more at church today was the reminder that having faith the size of a mustard seed doesn't move mountains. In Mark 11:23 "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him". This verse is often interpreted as "name it and claim it" but what it's trying to tell us is faith in an act itself doesn't move the mountains, but absolute faith in the PERSON that can move the mountains does, and only God can. Having faith in HIM and HIS will, being obedient and walking with Him in life is what will move mountains. 

It was such a timely reminder of why I'm here and what I'm here for. It such a wonderful Palm Sunday message to bring home and to hold dear that even though I'm the child of God that so often chooses the park over His better plans, yet He still patiently waits for me to follow Him. I am such a blessed child, a child that has been given so much more than I deserve, only because of His grace. 

Saw this online and thought it'd be nice to share.. given the new age take on marriage, I think this is a good reminder that marriage isn't all rosy and sweet, but a journey that may be arduous and tumultuous and it is for us to "make the spark happen", for us to rough it out and for us to hold on to a holy covenant that marriage is exclusive, between a man and woman, for life. I want to make a home with the man I commit to loving for the rest of my life, I want our children to grow in a safe and loving home that they too may see the true essence and beauty of marriage.

A Letter to My Children About Marriage

by Kelly on February 2, 2012 in Legacy, Training Ground for Mature Adult Character

Dear Children,
Should the Lord give you the good gift of a husband or wife, and I hope He does, there are a few things I want you to know. Things that you may not hear from anyone else, and certainly not on TV or other media. Sadly, your church may not even tell you.

Marriage, sweet little people, is not for the purpose of your happiness. Happy as I want you to be and hope you will be, you must yet understand that marriage is God’s design and His purposes must be pursued in order for you to be truly happy. His end is holiness and He will use all things in a life devoted to Him to fulfill that end.

To my girls:
Marry a man whose first pursuit is Christ. After that, he is not hard to please. Admire him, cheer him on and show gratitude, and he will fall over himself trying to please you. Smile often, speak well of him always, and do whatever necessary to try and maintain a pleasant mood about you so that it transfers to your home, making it a place where he and your children love to be.
You’ll have bad days of course, crying days even, and that’s when you go to your bedroom, kneel on the floor and beg the Lord to carry you. Then get up, get a fresh perspective (crayons will come off the wall), and try again. Above all else, make a home.

To my boys:
Marry a woman whose first pursuit is Christ. After that, she may be hard to please only if you don’t know “the secret”. What is that? I’m glad you asked. The secret to pleasing your wife is to make her feel safe and treasured. You may have to move out of your comfort zone to do this at times. She won’t always readily translate the oil change to love, though it means that. But let me give you a “secret question”–a question you need to ask her often. It’s not just in the asking, though. Be sure to focus your eyes on hers, maybe even touch her shoulder or face, and then ask: “What’s on your mind these days? “ And then be ready to listen. She wants you to draw her out. She will perceive this as your protection over the matters of her heart. Tenderness, listening, protection. That’s what she wants.

To you all:
If your wife or husband does something really stupid, forgive. If they do it again, forgive again. Forgiveness must be the propelling force in your lives each day. Dwell on the strengths, push out thoughts of their weaknesses. Take every thought captive–choose to love.

Here’s that part you are not going to hear often:
If you find yourself “not happy”, having lost attraction, disinterested, etc., you are not permitted to even think about a divorce. If you find yourselves arguing more and more, don’t think for a minute that “the children will be better off out of this”, because they won’t.

The vows you took on your wedding day were not suggestions. They were covenant vows, before a Holy God, family and friends, to stay with this person the rest of your life, even if you don’t feel like it. You swore a solemn oath and if you can’t live up to it, don’t get married. Decide up front that your marriage is irrevocable. There is far more motivation for getting along if your “marriage house” has no door.

Do not share intimate thoughts or feelings with anyone of the opposite sex. Do not find yourself alone for any length of time with such either.

Divorce is not a “private option”. It will affect multiple families for many generations. When you “separate what God has joined” you permanently injure far more than just yourself.

Guard your marriage as fiercely as you would guard your own life. Treat your spouse as an extension of your flesh, just as God sees you. Treat your spouse like other family members. You know, “you gotta love ‘em, they’re the only family you’ve got”.

I want you to be happy, I surely do. But I will pray for you to be holy.

Can we be more conscious?

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could be apathetic, I wish I could not care, I wish my heart won't feel the pain, I wish I didn't cry at thoughts like that. Every time I watch the news, I hear of reports in the world of children being enslaved, of kids suffering the consequences of their negligent parents, of children being taken into child armies and of the many homes and lives lost due to natural disasters. 

It pains my heart every time I hear of it and visually seeing it makes my heartache so bad. I wish I could do something for them, I wish I can take them out of their misery, but I know, with what I have now, I can't do much but pray. To pray for their lives to be saved, for them to know the Lord, for Him to forgive their sins. 

Perhaps it's just me.. But I hope my friends and loved ones will feel the same for the less fortunate, to know how fortunate we are to have what we have and to appreciate the abundance that we enjoy. I wish for people to know that when we complain about the little we have, someone out there, has nothing. When we complain about the stresses of our education, there is a child out there who wishes for one and takes simple pride in a coloring book. When we wake up each morning hating what we do, wishing we could do something else in life, there is someone out there who is waking up wondering when their next meal will come. 

Maybe it's inconsequential to us, to our lives and what we do, but I do hope we stand up for injustice when we see it. I hope we feel indignant for the skilled worker that gets paid pittance for hours of laborious work for something that is charged 2000 times more. When we buy the next chocolate bar, coffee beans, cinnamon powder or even peppercorns, give thanks for what we have because someone spent hours harvesting, rolling and roasting them before they got to us, buy FAIR-TRADE even if it costs more. 

I just pray for more consciousness amongst this younger generation, I pray for people's heart to change and to have a social conscience. I pray that even though these people may seem to have very big problems in life, that they may receive Christ, because sin is a problem bigger than all of that, the absence of God in their lives is of greater urgency. 

Just like in Mark 2: 1-12

       1 "A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home.

      2 So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them.

      3 Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them.
      4 Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on.
     5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, 'Son, your sins are forgiven.'
     6 Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves,
     7 'Why does this fellow talk like that? He's blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?'
     8 Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, 'Why are you thinking these things?
     9 Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up, take your mat and walk'?
   10 But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins . . . .' He said to the paralytic,
    11 I'Il tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.'
    12 He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, 'We have never seen anything like this!"


Indeed, What is greater than our physical problems and circumstances, is our sin that paralyses us, our sin that can only be forgiven by God alone, our lives that can only be redeemed by Jesus's death for us. I pray for God's mercy to be upon them, upon the unfortunate and for those who yet to know Christ, accept him and have their sins forgiven. 

Life's little moments

Moving out has so far proven to be a great thing! =) I love the freedom of being able to cook for myself, having the discipline to wake up, bus to uni, be on time and still have time to get coffee on the way. Well.. There are inconveniences too, like having to take a bus home after uni and waiting under the hot sun before coming home to get changed for gym.. But then again, these are just minor lifestyle adjustments I have to make for a more wholesome overseas experience. After all, if I were to stay after my degree, this is what I've got to get used to right!

Anyway.. uni has been good so far. It has been rather intense (i'm sure its full potential of intensity has yet to be shown), but i've had a few late nights at uni and to be honest, I'm enjoying it. I'm loving 3rd year and its units as a whole, I'm learning more and getting more hands on! That's the part I enjoy!

I guess this may or may not come as a surprise, but I've finally taken that leap of faith and led at CNC last Sunday! It was a nerve wrecking experience before I went for my rehearsals, but somehow, I think the Holy Spirit led, it equipped and just empowered me. I've never felt more at ease on stage than that, I've never felt more confident or sang as soulfully. It is indeed what they mean when they say "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called". =)

This week has been rather special for me, apart from starting it off at church, passing my barrier exam, finishing my crown preps and stuff.. Sherms made me cry.. He made me cry so hard.. and for the right reasons. I know it's not as if it's been ages since I saw him, in fact, he made me dinner on monday (which was awesome btw). But you know how it feels when you miss someone so terribly? It's bizarre cause I've never felt this way before. The feeling that I cannot get enough of him, that I'd like to spend every free moment with him to share every moment of our lives together. I'm not besotted and losing my mind. I know my priorities but it's an insane feeling to have. The way my heart feels when we part is like an aching pain yearning for the next time it reunites with its other half.

So.. Tuesday night or rather, wednesday morning at 1230am.. I got a call from him. My heart skipped a beat thinking that he was home and was calling me to catch up.

Then he said "Did you get my text?"
I said, "nope. Did you just get home?"
"Look out the window.." (I walked to the window) "Do you see a red blinking light?"

Honestly, I didn't know what to say or what to think for a moment.. and didn't even think of going down to see him until he said "would you like to come down to see me instead of the window?". He had cycled from work to home and stopped by en route. As much as it was on the way home, I still felt that sudden sense of warmth overwhelming me. That sudden realization of "this is why I'm in love with this man, this is why my heart feels the way it feels" and the tears just flowed, uncontrollably.

It may sound rather cheesy if I say it too many times, but it really feels like I've fallen in love for the very first time in my life.. (mushy content ahead.. You have been warned..)

Sherms, thank you for making me feel so special, so loved and so cared for. Thank you for being the man that you are and for being the man in my life. You make my heart beat rhythms it never had and dance so freely on the tunes of your love.. You, my dearest, are the other element to the chemistry of my heart.

TWENTY FIVE and counting...

So it's official.. I'm 25. Yes. Quarter of a century, good times. Well... My birthday was... Just another tuesday, so was valentine's day. Nothing spectacular, maybe apart from dinner with Emma, it was.. quiet.

 I suppose what got to me the most was when everyone started asking me whether or not I was going to do anything special with Sherms or what he'll be doing with me. Cause as much as I'd like to say that Valentine's day is just another day, it isn't. I'd like to have my partner spend that special day with me, but school and work just wasn't kind enough to offer us that luxury. Did I expect to feel this way on my birthday? I didn't, and I don't want to.

I've had worse birthdays before, ones where I'd block out for as long as I can and this would probably be one of them. Nothing to remember about, but everything to forget.

To make things a little better.. Perth decided to pull the Valentine's day card on me too. Everywhere I went.. it was just couples couples couples.. couples reservations.. couples menu.. like, seriously..?

Anyhow, I saw this video on Facebook and even though it's quite cheesy, it's rather sweet. =) and no.. That was not how valentine's day was like for me. Neither would I expect it to ever be. Just cause...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YLJjsCwLeww

Like they say.. No expectations, no disappointments. Something I've learnt after 25 years.. Only have expectations for yourself never for others. That way, you'll never disappoint yourself and never be disappointed by others because it was never meant to be to begin with.

Seasons

Two weeks into uni, though timetable isn't as full on as it should be (i.e. I still don't have to stay back for lab sessions yet), but this 8 to 5 timetable with half an hour lunch is going to be interesting. I am happy to be back and into the routine.

Well.. I've finally found  place to move out to, it's definitely further from St Catherine's to OHCWA, but its a place i can call my own. I really can't wait to cook for myself and be able to have a larger personal space. I'm not complaining about my college experience, I love it to be honest, but it's time to move on in life. =) Not yet in the PHASE of life, but in the different stages of it.

Apart from that, I'm quite excited about what this new year would hold and how God will speak His will into my life. I'm starting to lead at CNC, i'm freaking out, but I know there is no such thing as "this is not the season" because it will always be the season when it's God's will and intention. I know He has His great plans for my life and for my year. I heard this sermon on sunday at Sherwin's church, that "If you walk in obedience, you are under the authority of God and He is greater than all the seasons". So this year... Is the season of having an unreasonable illogical expectation and anticipation for my life.