Sometimes the most frustrating person is also the person you love.
It's just hard when family is the reason why I can't pursue life as freely as I want to. Perhaps it's the curse of being the little one, perhaps it's the curse from coming from a family that just needs control. Or perhaps it's because it's a family that still has yet to find God and the contentment in life that His grace and love brings.
I don't know. I wish I had answers to why parents are the way they are. I wish I had that rebel in me who would not care. I wish at times I could just break away and be the person I truly am and not live under the shadow of someone who thinks that she knows best.
Perhaps I haven't been home and no one can understand the me that I've become. But I just wish, so badly, for her to understand how much misery her so called "love" is putting me under. She wants me to be happy and have a wonderful life, but i wish so much for her to understand that we have a different yardstick that we measure happiness by. I don't want a life like hers, I don't ever want to be like her or live in so much fear of judgement. Sometimes I wish she would know that the only person I live for and am accountable to is God, and God alone. I honestly don't care what the world says as long as I know it's right with God.
Sometimes a pretty picture isn't always what it seems.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Sunday, September 1, 2013
A letter to me, from me
At 26, I can't say I'm old enough, but I'm not young either. I've made my fair share of mistakes and experiences, although not as vast as when I'm 50, but i think I've been through enough to want to give myself some advise, or rather, I wish I could teleport and tell myself these things when I was 15. So here's a letter from myself NOW, to me Then!
Dear Me,
Hello. Welcome to 15 years of life, it's me, from the future (cheesy, I know), but you'll get to realise and love how cheesy you can be in future. But anyway, 11 years on, I wish there were a few things someone told me that would have saved me a lot of trouble, so here I am, giving you a bit of insight to what you should know.
Truth about you
First of all, you have to come to terms with the fact that you will never be a popular kid in school, or ever for that matter, so don't try to be someone else you aren't to FIT in, cause you'd be better off finding your identity by being you and standing out. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
People won't like you for being polite and respectful to authority, but that's ok! Get used to being called "teacher's pet", "suck up", cause at the end of the day, the older generation will appreciate and love that quality in you, and you honestly won't have a problem getting older people on your side. (Just a peek into the future... being geriatric friendly will be in your favour!)
Secondly, YOU are a nerd, embrace it! You are also quite goofy, lame, cheesy, and not really the feminist you think of yourself to be now! yes, you don't need a man in your life, but you'll come to realise, life is sort of more fun with them around, especially when you've found the right one (now.. don't get too ahead of yourself, relationships are your thing, but we'll talk about that later).
Thirdly, don't second guess yourself. Don't question whether or not you can, just do it. Don't ask yourself if you're good enough, just go for it. If you have a passion in life and you want it, you'll chase for it, and chances are, you'll achieve it. You'll realize after the end of secondary school that if you put your head into something, you'd get it. Then again, please don't neglect your studies just because of Choir. (You probably will anyway. Oh well)
Fourthly, You have found God, or rather, God has found you. Truth is, He has already picked you from the beginning, why else would you be sent to a Christian school since you were 4? You will struggle with mom to go to church, you will find it hard to break away from what you have been brought up with, but stay strong, because it is your Faith that will bring you over the many tides, it is the love of God that will show you how much you are loved, find your identity in Him, in His perfect image of you. Don't doubt yourself, everyone else will tell you otherwise, they may bring you down, but find love, solace and comfort in His love for you. You'll realise, that's all you really need. =) everything else He gives you is out of grace and love.
Dreams
Dare to dream, be even more bold to achieve. Dare to take a leap, be even more courageous to pursue. Dare to believe, be brave to failure. You WILL find it hard to live your dream. Everyone may tell you, you can't do it, do something else... Do this, do that, you're good at this, you're good at that. But know where YOUR passion lies, know where God wants to take you and chase it. Because He has given you a desire so strong, you know He will take you across, He will make a way for you, so long as you trust in Him and persevere. You'll realise the most rewarding thing about your passion, is being able to share someone's life, is being able to give them something better, it is even more rewarding waking up, loving everyday, because it's never work when you love.
Grow in Christ, grow in His likeness and learn to love like He does. You'll realise in time to come that there are a lot of people out there who has never experienced His love, so do what you can to love them like He has loved you!
Family
Know what everyone's time on earth is finite. We all of a due by date, so treasure everyone you have around you. Especially gran, she's not as strong as she seems. Love them thinking that it would be their last every single day. Cause like me, you'll regret not loving them that little bit more!
Love mom and dad, you'll realise that they've put in a lot of effort to provide for you and give you the best, so be filial and be loving, be patient and forbearing. You'll realise you'll have a lot more people in your life whom you'll relate to as family, remember they are all people you will love, so let them know outwardly that you love them and care for them!
Relationships
Now.. I know you want to know who you'll be with and marry, but I don't know either. Or rather, I'm not married yet, but I have quite a clear idea of who I want to be married to. =) So yes.. Brings me to my point, don't break hearts. If I can turn back time, I'd have left relationships alone until I was more or less ready to commit.
Know that relationships take alot of work, time and effort. It doesn't happen magically like you think it would. Yes, it's easy to fall in love and be attracted to someone but maintaining a relationship takes effort, commitment, patience and forbearance. You will think that it should come easy, but it honestly doesn't. So don't break your heart and someone's heart because you're just in for fun when they aren't.
Also, you know you like good boys that look bad, so don't even try dating the "ideal" boy that mom wants you to date. He'll turn out to be your worse nightmare and honestly, a dickhead. So.. Just wait on that one special person who knows how to piece your broken heart together. He'll be everything you imagined you want to date but didn't think you were good enough for. And PROMISE, he's someone who can and will carry you (literally and figuratively) when you need him to.
So to my 15 year old me, enjoy life and enjoy God's providence of friends.. Cause you Will meet some friends in time to come who will bless your life so immensely, friends you know will be forever.
God Bless!
From,
Me
Dear Me,
Hello. Welcome to 15 years of life, it's me, from the future (cheesy, I know), but you'll get to realise and love how cheesy you can be in future. But anyway, 11 years on, I wish there were a few things someone told me that would have saved me a lot of trouble, so here I am, giving you a bit of insight to what you should know.
Truth about you
First of all, you have to come to terms with the fact that you will never be a popular kid in school, or ever for that matter, so don't try to be someone else you aren't to FIT in, cause you'd be better off finding your identity by being you and standing out. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
People won't like you for being polite and respectful to authority, but that's ok! Get used to being called "teacher's pet", "suck up", cause at the end of the day, the older generation will appreciate and love that quality in you, and you honestly won't have a problem getting older people on your side. (Just a peek into the future... being geriatric friendly will be in your favour!)
Secondly, YOU are a nerd, embrace it! You are also quite goofy, lame, cheesy, and not really the feminist you think of yourself to be now! yes, you don't need a man in your life, but you'll come to realise, life is sort of more fun with them around, especially when you've found the right one (now.. don't get too ahead of yourself, relationships are your thing, but we'll talk about that later).
Thirdly, don't second guess yourself. Don't question whether or not you can, just do it. Don't ask yourself if you're good enough, just go for it. If you have a passion in life and you want it, you'll chase for it, and chances are, you'll achieve it. You'll realize after the end of secondary school that if you put your head into something, you'd get it. Then again, please don't neglect your studies just because of Choir. (You probably will anyway. Oh well)
Fourthly, You have found God, or rather, God has found you. Truth is, He has already picked you from the beginning, why else would you be sent to a Christian school since you were 4? You will struggle with mom to go to church, you will find it hard to break away from what you have been brought up with, but stay strong, because it is your Faith that will bring you over the many tides, it is the love of God that will show you how much you are loved, find your identity in Him, in His perfect image of you. Don't doubt yourself, everyone else will tell you otherwise, they may bring you down, but find love, solace and comfort in His love for you. You'll realise, that's all you really need. =) everything else He gives you is out of grace and love.
Dreams
Dare to dream, be even more bold to achieve. Dare to take a leap, be even more courageous to pursue. Dare to believe, be brave to failure. You WILL find it hard to live your dream. Everyone may tell you, you can't do it, do something else... Do this, do that, you're good at this, you're good at that. But know where YOUR passion lies, know where God wants to take you and chase it. Because He has given you a desire so strong, you know He will take you across, He will make a way for you, so long as you trust in Him and persevere. You'll realise the most rewarding thing about your passion, is being able to share someone's life, is being able to give them something better, it is even more rewarding waking up, loving everyday, because it's never work when you love.
Grow in Christ, grow in His likeness and learn to love like He does. You'll realise in time to come that there are a lot of people out there who has never experienced His love, so do what you can to love them like He has loved you!
Family
Know what everyone's time on earth is finite. We all of a due by date, so treasure everyone you have around you. Especially gran, she's not as strong as she seems. Love them thinking that it would be their last every single day. Cause like me, you'll regret not loving them that little bit more!
Love mom and dad, you'll realise that they've put in a lot of effort to provide for you and give you the best, so be filial and be loving, be patient and forbearing. You'll realise you'll have a lot more people in your life whom you'll relate to as family, remember they are all people you will love, so let them know outwardly that you love them and care for them!
Relationships
Now.. I know you want to know who you'll be with and marry, but I don't know either. Or rather, I'm not married yet, but I have quite a clear idea of who I want to be married to. =) So yes.. Brings me to my point, don't break hearts. If I can turn back time, I'd have left relationships alone until I was more or less ready to commit.
Know that relationships take alot of work, time and effort. It doesn't happen magically like you think it would. Yes, it's easy to fall in love and be attracted to someone but maintaining a relationship takes effort, commitment, patience and forbearance. You will think that it should come easy, but it honestly doesn't. So don't break your heart and someone's heart because you're just in for fun when they aren't.
Also, you know you like good boys that look bad, so don't even try dating the "ideal" boy that mom wants you to date. He'll turn out to be your worse nightmare and honestly, a dickhead. So.. Just wait on that one special person who knows how to piece your broken heart together. He'll be everything you imagined you want to date but didn't think you were good enough for. And PROMISE, he's someone who can and will carry you (literally and figuratively) when you need him to.
So to my 15 year old me, enjoy life and enjoy God's providence of friends.. Cause you Will meet some friends in time to come who will bless your life so immensely, friends you know will be forever.
God Bless!
From,
Me
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Been awhile...
Someone casually mentioned to me today that I haven't blogged in ages. Yea, I actually haven't. It's not that there's nothing to write, but there's just so much to write, I don't even know where to begin. Should I write about my life, my dilemmas and bore you even more with dentistry? Or should I write about fun interesting things that are happening in my life... If it's the latter, then yea.. I would have NOTHING to write.
Don't get me wrong, dentistry is in it's way fun and interesting, the things that happen behind the scenes and the fun we have just being dental students. I suppose it's quite a skewed sense of fun, perhaps even geeky, but I guess that's what makes dental students such a special bunch.. Something's bound to happen when you put 60 Type A people together for 5 years.. We probably fuel each other to be more Type A than we already are.
Is fourth year hard? yea... in it's way, it's easy as well, cause it seems like we're stressed out constantly that the stress level has become chronic, so much so that the body adapts to it. I find my way to work around it, even though it ain't the best way, cause it would bite me in the bum most of the time, but I procrastinate when I can, or prioritize, to put it nicely.
I love what I'm doing, I love it even more that I get to directly help patients. working at lifecare has just opened my eyes to a few things that I was never conscious about, it's made me think a lot about what kind of clinician I want to be and what I don't want to be. It's made me find my bearings and come to realize that it's not so heeehee haha out there because someone's going to chase you for your bottomlines and I would have to make a decision of what I will do and what I will not do. If you're reading this and see me when I'm out practicing, and realized i've become a crazy money chasing dentist, I give you every right to chide me and knock some sense into me. Because the last thing I want, is to forgo the love for this craft and the help it can bring for something so menial like money.
This year has been really harsh to me emotionally. I guess when i get older in life, I've got to face up to the reality that death is imminent, but I just don't expect people around their 30's to pass so quickly and so suddenly. It's gripped my heart and burdened it with grief, for he was such a lovely man, so gentle and willing to share and teach, so sincere and so fervent for God. I guess the only consolation i have is that I know I will see him again one day and tell him how much he has blessed my life. this though, does not take away the pain of knowing that someone so wonderful has left.
That's just a short blurp on my life so far... nothing really fascinating on the whole, just a lot of... Such is life.. Make the most of it.
Don't get me wrong, dentistry is in it's way fun and interesting, the things that happen behind the scenes and the fun we have just being dental students. I suppose it's quite a skewed sense of fun, perhaps even geeky, but I guess that's what makes dental students such a special bunch.. Something's bound to happen when you put 60 Type A people together for 5 years.. We probably fuel each other to be more Type A than we already are.
Is fourth year hard? yea... in it's way, it's easy as well, cause it seems like we're stressed out constantly that the stress level has become chronic, so much so that the body adapts to it. I find my way to work around it, even though it ain't the best way, cause it would bite me in the bum most of the time, but I procrastinate when I can, or prioritize, to put it nicely.
I love what I'm doing, I love it even more that I get to directly help patients. working at lifecare has just opened my eyes to a few things that I was never conscious about, it's made me think a lot about what kind of clinician I want to be and what I don't want to be. It's made me find my bearings and come to realize that it's not so heeehee haha out there because someone's going to chase you for your bottomlines and I would have to make a decision of what I will do and what I will not do. If you're reading this and see me when I'm out practicing, and realized i've become a crazy money chasing dentist, I give you every right to chide me and knock some sense into me. Because the last thing I want, is to forgo the love for this craft and the help it can bring for something so menial like money.
This year has been really harsh to me emotionally. I guess when i get older in life, I've got to face up to the reality that death is imminent, but I just don't expect people around their 30's to pass so quickly and so suddenly. It's gripped my heart and burdened it with grief, for he was such a lovely man, so gentle and willing to share and teach, so sincere and so fervent for God. I guess the only consolation i have is that I know I will see him again one day and tell him how much he has blessed my life. this though, does not take away the pain of knowing that someone so wonderful has left.
That's just a short blurp on my life so far... nothing really fascinating on the whole, just a lot of... Such is life.. Make the most of it.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Coming full circle
I'm in the middle of my exams, I should really be studying, but just taking a step back, I realise I'm not exactly at the end/middle of my exams, in fact, this is just the beginning of a crazy ride. I've had 6 exams so for for semester one, not really including the mid semester ones, but anyway, 2 more to go, then 10 days back home, early start to the clinic life, the one exam, 2 assignments due, then a string of case presentations, exam again and our final fourth year exams in October.. THIRTEEN i think. Now... If someone were to say to me again, "how hard can drilling teeth be"... I can only say... "Good luck trying to fix it yourself!"
I have no regrets whatsoever embarking on this amazing journey I now call a blessing. I cannot describe the amount of stress and the ever present looming sense of failure when I'm trying to keep up with my requirements, they don't seem a lot for each speciality, but cumulatively with our clinic hours cut back, it's quite an uphill battle, (that, mind you, half of the previous year could not achieve with about 30 more clinical hours).. so that gives me great delight and hope knowing that I have set foot on the fourth year of my course trying to do what a lot of people can't.
It's interesting how I have this immense baggage on my shoulders and yet I feel this lightness in my heart, this joy, this immense joy in my heart because four years ago, it was bleeding so hard just to get into dentistry. I'd just like to take a minute to analyze this joy in my heart... is it the sense of satisfaction? the knowledge that I'm probably 7/10 of my way through the degree? Is it the immense love for my patients and for the fact that I can help make a difference in their lives and they too, have value added mine? Is it the child like spirit in me that loves making stuff, moulding and waxing, carving and fixing, like mini DIY projects? Perhaps it is, it probably is all of it. But I know most of all, I have such joy under such stressful circumstances because I know and I finally understand what it means when I say, "God has got my back". And He has. He has been faithful when I am not, He has been gracious when I've been rebellious, He has been merciful when I turned away, He has been patient when I've questioned Him, He loves me even in my most sinful state and I know He has given me this wonderful answer to my calling because He saw just how much I wanted it.
I know He has brought me so far, carried me through this time only to bring me closer to Him. It takes every ounce of my breath away knowing that He, the creator of all things, would do so much just to love me, just to bring me back to Him, to draw me closer to Him. Perhaps you wouldn't understand what this whole "God loves me so much" thing is about, but I can only pray that you, who is reading this post, will experience the same kind of overwhelming love that I have experienced. He's the one who matters, and the very fact that the one who matters loves me for who I am and for all the sins that I have done and will do, and still see the perfection in me when I'm like a broken bowl fallen to pieces, means that I, the broken fragments of a bowl is pieced together again and made new because of His sacrifice.
You wonder.. so what has this got to do with dentistry right? I can tell you, without His strength, I wouldn't have made it through the first year, without His grace, I wouldn't even have made it to dental school, without His providence, I wouldn't have the luxury to be studying here without any financial struggles, without God, I am nothing.
Perhaps this is growing up, it's about finally understanding the blessings you have and being grateful for them. It is knowing that you have so much more purpose in Life than what the world wants you to believe. Perhaps this is finding myself in God and not being drawn away by the mundane matters of the world, the numbers on the scale, the next new fashion trend, the next new makeup style, the hottest gossip, the snidest remarks, the wildest parties or the social scene. Perhaps this is what it feels like to know your calling, to pursue your calling, to want excellence in what you do because you know it is by grace that you're doing it. I'm doing what I love, because He loves me, and because He loves me, I love what I'm doing. That's my full circle moment during the exams. I hope you find yours too.
I have no regrets whatsoever embarking on this amazing journey I now call a blessing. I cannot describe the amount of stress and the ever present looming sense of failure when I'm trying to keep up with my requirements, they don't seem a lot for each speciality, but cumulatively with our clinic hours cut back, it's quite an uphill battle, (that, mind you, half of the previous year could not achieve with about 30 more clinical hours).. so that gives me great delight and hope knowing that I have set foot on the fourth year of my course trying to do what a lot of people can't.
It's interesting how I have this immense baggage on my shoulders and yet I feel this lightness in my heart, this joy, this immense joy in my heart because four years ago, it was bleeding so hard just to get into dentistry. I'd just like to take a minute to analyze this joy in my heart... is it the sense of satisfaction? the knowledge that I'm probably 7/10 of my way through the degree? Is it the immense love for my patients and for the fact that I can help make a difference in their lives and they too, have value added mine? Is it the child like spirit in me that loves making stuff, moulding and waxing, carving and fixing, like mini DIY projects? Perhaps it is, it probably is all of it. But I know most of all, I have such joy under such stressful circumstances because I know and I finally understand what it means when I say, "God has got my back". And He has. He has been faithful when I am not, He has been gracious when I've been rebellious, He has been merciful when I turned away, He has been patient when I've questioned Him, He loves me even in my most sinful state and I know He has given me this wonderful answer to my calling because He saw just how much I wanted it.
I know He has brought me so far, carried me through this time only to bring me closer to Him. It takes every ounce of my breath away knowing that He, the creator of all things, would do so much just to love me, just to bring me back to Him, to draw me closer to Him. Perhaps you wouldn't understand what this whole "God loves me so much" thing is about, but I can only pray that you, who is reading this post, will experience the same kind of overwhelming love that I have experienced. He's the one who matters, and the very fact that the one who matters loves me for who I am and for all the sins that I have done and will do, and still see the perfection in me when I'm like a broken bowl fallen to pieces, means that I, the broken fragments of a bowl is pieced together again and made new because of His sacrifice.
You wonder.. so what has this got to do with dentistry right? I can tell you, without His strength, I wouldn't have made it through the first year, without His grace, I wouldn't even have made it to dental school, without His providence, I wouldn't have the luxury to be studying here without any financial struggles, without God, I am nothing.
Perhaps this is growing up, it's about finally understanding the blessings you have and being grateful for them. It is knowing that you have so much more purpose in Life than what the world wants you to believe. Perhaps this is finding myself in God and not being drawn away by the mundane matters of the world, the numbers on the scale, the next new fashion trend, the next new makeup style, the hottest gossip, the snidest remarks, the wildest parties or the social scene. Perhaps this is what it feels like to know your calling, to pursue your calling, to want excellence in what you do because you know it is by grace that you're doing it. I'm doing what I love, because He loves me, and because He loves me, I love what I'm doing. That's my full circle moment during the exams. I hope you find yours too.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Reality
Right. I haven't typed/written in ages. I haven't been BUSY, not drive me crazy kind of busy, but busy enough to not have time for myself to write. Then again, I think i didn't write cause I don't know where to begin, what to write, because life seems to have overwhelmed me. It does sound silly, doesn't it? How a 26 year old can be overwhelmed by life, it is then that I realized, perhaps it's time to re-evaluate things in my life, to prioritize, to see exactly what is important, the people who you should care about and what you should spend your time on.
The past three months saw a birth and death, it brought the reminder of the purpose on earth and the reminder of immense grace, it brought me to tears, both joy and sorrow, it saw me filled, to be emptied again, it saw me relying on the only truth I believe in, because it was only in that truth did I know I exist.
The birth of Jerome (my 2nd nephew) brought me so much joy, the thought that I would return home in June to another squirming bundle of joy just brings the smile to my face. At the same time, I said goodbye to a mentor, a friend, a role model, an honourable man whose candle burned out before it should. The shock that gripped me, that someone I said goodbye to that evening would pass on that very night. The seemingly healthy and bubbly grandfatherly like man had just gone.
They say, "God only takes the good ones" and it made me think, perhaps death is not something to be afraid of. Life on earth is where suffering lies and our life with God is what, as Christians, should bring us joy. Passing of someone so respected saddened me, but it also reminded me of how forgetful I am of God's grace, of Christ's death on the cross that redeemed me, He died and rose again, He conquered death, so that we won't have to fear death.
I don't expect anyone to agree with me, losing someone is no doubt a painful experience, but I think what "death" forgets, is that every time it robs us of someone precious, we don't lose part of ourselves, but we grow stronger because of the legacy the person has left us, because of the memories that will live within us. In fact, death doesn't take someone away, it gives that person eternity in our memories. Does "death" not realize that it's losing its grip, that we get more and more resilient with each person it takes away? Does death not realize that it has been conquered?
I know at the end of the day, when my time on earth has passed, I will be with God because He sent His son to die, so I can live.
I guess that's why I haven't really wrote, because I know it won't be of anything jolly or fun, nothing humorous or exciting, just simply reality.
Reality is that I do take life for granted each day, I take the very essence of breathing for granted. I take grace for granted because I don't seek to live the great commission. I take my loved ones for granted because I know... I still have time. But these recent events have just made me think.. Do I really? Sometimes I wish Dentistry would be over soon, so I can start living and stop worrying about "uni". But would I really start living, or be sucked into the hum drum of working life and the pursuit for that white picket fence? It pains me to think that everyday I'm living now, is a life that seems selfish, hollow and shallow.. A life so that I may have a better future, then.. am I truly living now?
I want to live a life that not just about "me", but I can't afford the energy, the effort and the love to. I want to be connected to my friends, but I run through my list and realize that there aren't many that I'm living LIFE with. I realize how empty my friendships run, running on memories, past experiences, cards, letters, "hi's", "byes' and meet ups, but none I live my life with. I realize my family is all over the globe, my first cousins I barely meet, my family I see once every year, I realize how much time I've spent away from people that matter and it saddens me.
This truly is not me being emotional, but coming to realize that reality is actually much closer than I think. And reality should empower me to strive, but it too, scares me.
The past three months saw a birth and death, it brought the reminder of the purpose on earth and the reminder of immense grace, it brought me to tears, both joy and sorrow, it saw me filled, to be emptied again, it saw me relying on the only truth I believe in, because it was only in that truth did I know I exist.
The birth of Jerome (my 2nd nephew) brought me so much joy, the thought that I would return home in June to another squirming bundle of joy just brings the smile to my face. At the same time, I said goodbye to a mentor, a friend, a role model, an honourable man whose candle burned out before it should. The shock that gripped me, that someone I said goodbye to that evening would pass on that very night. The seemingly healthy and bubbly grandfatherly like man had just gone.
They say, "God only takes the good ones" and it made me think, perhaps death is not something to be afraid of. Life on earth is where suffering lies and our life with God is what, as Christians, should bring us joy. Passing of someone so respected saddened me, but it also reminded me of how forgetful I am of God's grace, of Christ's death on the cross that redeemed me, He died and rose again, He conquered death, so that we won't have to fear death.
I don't expect anyone to agree with me, losing someone is no doubt a painful experience, but I think what "death" forgets, is that every time it robs us of someone precious, we don't lose part of ourselves, but we grow stronger because of the legacy the person has left us, because of the memories that will live within us. In fact, death doesn't take someone away, it gives that person eternity in our memories. Does "death" not realize that it's losing its grip, that we get more and more resilient with each person it takes away? Does death not realize that it has been conquered?
I know at the end of the day, when my time on earth has passed, I will be with God because He sent His son to die, so I can live.
I guess that's why I haven't really wrote, because I know it won't be of anything jolly or fun, nothing humorous or exciting, just simply reality.
Reality is that I do take life for granted each day, I take the very essence of breathing for granted. I take grace for granted because I don't seek to live the great commission. I take my loved ones for granted because I know... I still have time. But these recent events have just made me think.. Do I really? Sometimes I wish Dentistry would be over soon, so I can start living and stop worrying about "uni". But would I really start living, or be sucked into the hum drum of working life and the pursuit for that white picket fence? It pains me to think that everyday I'm living now, is a life that seems selfish, hollow and shallow.. A life so that I may have a better future, then.. am I truly living now?
I want to live a life that not just about "me", but I can't afford the energy, the effort and the love to. I want to be connected to my friends, but I run through my list and realize that there aren't many that I'm living LIFE with. I realize how empty my friendships run, running on memories, past experiences, cards, letters, "hi's", "byes' and meet ups, but none I live my life with. I realize my family is all over the globe, my first cousins I barely meet, my family I see once every year, I realize how much time I've spent away from people that matter and it saddens me.
This truly is not me being emotional, but coming to realize that reality is actually much closer than I think. And reality should empower me to strive, but it too, scares me.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Rest
I haven't written anything since the start of 2013. I'm alive people!
Perhaps you can say I've been too busy, with uni, with lab work and life in general. I know I'm doing what I love and I know why I'm doing it, but sometimes I can't help but be challenged to ask myself, is what I'm busy with truly what God wants me to be busy with? You may think it's bizarre, how can a calling be something that isn't from God.
Let's put it this way, the calling for dentistry is from God, but what I do to get through it, how I choose to use my time and handle situations may not be.. Simply cause I'm human and I'm not perfect.
Which is why during this one week mid semester break, I decide to not do anything dent related unless I had to. I wanted to restore my heart and my brain and start of on the right foot with Godly intentions for my patients and for myself.. Perhaps it's a long overdue post on what's happening in my life, trust me, it will come, when... I find the time. But for now, I believe I want to rest in God and be restored.
Perhaps you can say I've been too busy, with uni, with lab work and life in general. I know I'm doing what I love and I know why I'm doing it, but sometimes I can't help but be challenged to ask myself, is what I'm busy with truly what God wants me to be busy with? You may think it's bizarre, how can a calling be something that isn't from God.
Let's put it this way, the calling for dentistry is from God, but what I do to get through it, how I choose to use my time and handle situations may not be.. Simply cause I'm human and I'm not perfect.
Which is why during this one week mid semester break, I decide to not do anything dent related unless I had to. I wanted to restore my heart and my brain and start of on the right foot with Godly intentions for my patients and for myself.. Perhaps it's a long overdue post on what's happening in my life, trust me, it will come, when... I find the time. But for now, I believe I want to rest in God and be restored.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
From dentistry, with love
I have never, NEVER been so tired and stressed out in my life. Really.
Not O's, not A's, not even uni days.
The last week of October to the end of November is just all about assessment after assessment, exam after exam. I'm not kidding, just the sheer content and volume of things that we have to know is just insane. What's worse is that every freaking exam is a barrier, ie: you can't afford to fail. It just all adds up.
To be really honest, I've never put in so much effort into a semester as I did this one. I was keeping up with lectures and notes and it still isn't enough. I don't know. I'm just really really tired.
I love this, I won't trade this for the world, but I really am knackered. To my bones, no wait, not even that, to my marrow. Countdowns for an exam have never been THAT long, that tedious.
I don't know many who would understand what I'm going through, and I don't wish this upon anyone either. It's almost so hard to comprehend for non-dentally related people to why a profession about teeth would require that much effort, THAT much studying.
This is not just a matter about dexterity, practical abilities and patient management. It's is ALL of that and complex hospital politics and insane amounts of theory that you have to read up, on your own. If you haven't been taught and it's examined, TOO BAD FOR YOU, cause this is dentistry and they don't have all the time to teach you, you should have read up on your own.
This is a course that requires you to pull in about 36 to 40 contact hours, 30 hours in good weeks, out of which, 4 to 6 hours are spent in lectures. ONLY THAT.. and the rest, in clinic, in lab and in the library planning for your next patient. I don't know why/how they expect us to do our own "STUDY" outside of school.. I can try to cover lecture materials, but I barely have enough time left to breathe and to do that extra reading up. seriously.
I know guys.. "It's just teeth right?" just think for one second, at the end of 5 years, I have to independently provide treatment for you, in your mouth, for a whole range of problems. We have to be trained to be GOOD ENOUGH for that. Doctors have their internships and residency to make their mistakes and learn, but we.. We're on our own. and you don't want us to stuff up.
I really am awfully tired. Best end of the year present, from dentistry.. with love.
Not O's, not A's, not even uni days.
The last week of October to the end of November is just all about assessment after assessment, exam after exam. I'm not kidding, just the sheer content and volume of things that we have to know is just insane. What's worse is that every freaking exam is a barrier, ie: you can't afford to fail. It just all adds up.
To be really honest, I've never put in so much effort into a semester as I did this one. I was keeping up with lectures and notes and it still isn't enough. I don't know. I'm just really really tired.
I love this, I won't trade this for the world, but I really am knackered. To my bones, no wait, not even that, to my marrow. Countdowns for an exam have never been THAT long, that tedious.
I don't know many who would understand what I'm going through, and I don't wish this upon anyone either. It's almost so hard to comprehend for non-dentally related people to why a profession about teeth would require that much effort, THAT much studying.
This is not just a matter about dexterity, practical abilities and patient management. It's is ALL of that and complex hospital politics and insane amounts of theory that you have to read up, on your own. If you haven't been taught and it's examined, TOO BAD FOR YOU, cause this is dentistry and they don't have all the time to teach you, you should have read up on your own.
This is a course that requires you to pull in about 36 to 40 contact hours, 30 hours in good weeks, out of which, 4 to 6 hours are spent in lectures. ONLY THAT.. and the rest, in clinic, in lab and in the library planning for your next patient. I don't know why/how they expect us to do our own "STUDY" outside of school.. I can try to cover lecture materials, but I barely have enough time left to breathe and to do that extra reading up. seriously.
I know guys.. "It's just teeth right?" just think for one second, at the end of 5 years, I have to independently provide treatment for you, in your mouth, for a whole range of problems. We have to be trained to be GOOD ENOUGH for that. Doctors have their internships and residency to make their mistakes and learn, but we.. We're on our own. and you don't want us to stuff up.
I really am awfully tired. Best end of the year present, from dentistry.. with love.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Extras from dental school
They weren't kidding when they said that these were the extras that came with dental school:
1. Temporal mandibular joint pain
2. Stress induced grinding and gingivitis
3. Sleep deprivation
4. Caffeine addiction
5. Analgesic reliance
I like exams, but not THIS MUCH! Can't wait for the hols!
1. Temporal mandibular joint pain
2. Stress induced grinding and gingivitis
3. Sleep deprivation
4. Caffeine addiction
5. Analgesic reliance
I like exams, but not THIS MUCH! Can't wait for the hols!
E . X . A . M . S
I'm exhausted from studying. I love everything I'm studying and doing, but it's getting soooo draining. =( 10 units isn't normal! Having twice (or more) exams than the normal is NOT FUN! Having it stretch over such a long period isn't either! What's worse... exams cover the year's WORK!
This is worse than my A levels repeated twice! I don't think I even studied this hard for something so major!
This is worse than my A levels repeated twice! I don't think I even studied this hard for something so major!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Definitions
"The thing I find very weird about you is who you choose to go out with. I don't understand why, of all people, are you going out with him" - Miss X
Miss X, who shall not be named, asked me this one day. Perhaps it's not only her but a few others who question my relationship with Sherwin, who question my choice. Miss X qualified her statement by saying "He doesn't even own a car and he's not like rich or anything and doesn't earn a lot of money. You can go out with someone better".
I wonder how many people actually think that way.
I am saddened, just saddened by the thought that some people put a price to a relationship. I know to some extent, my mother feels the same way, and we just simply give the excuse of them being Asian, being protective. But I know, this pursuit for wealth and for marrying well isn't just as simple as, being Asian.
It's the lack of understanding of God, of God's love and sacrifice. It's that void, the God like void in their hearts that has yet to be filled. They crave, always crave for that something better, that someone who is wealthier, smarter and better looking. It's the lack of God in their life, that they fail to understand that we're all made equal and special in God's eyes. It's the lack of understanding that when we put these terms and conditions to a relationship, it's akin to saying that these are the things that we define ourselves by.
It's simple. How we define ourselves, is the same very way we define and qualify others and to deem whether they are worthy or not, whether they are an "investment" worthy of our time. I thank God for the day He saved me and gave me His salvation, I thank God every single day that I was given the understanding beyond this pragmatism, I am thankful everyday that I don't define myself by what I do/study, how much I earn and what I wear.
I don't define myself as a dental student and what not.. things that people put to your name. When people introduce you, "hi, this is so and so and she's a dental student..." it doesn't make me any happier, it just saddens me that that's all I have been defined as in their eyes. Being in a healthcare profession or even allied health, doesn't make us more "professional" nor is our status more prestigious. I am a child of God, I am a servant.. being a dentist doesn't make me smarter or better than someone else. I am just a child of God. Why can't people understand?
I love what I do by the Grace of God, not for money, not for fame, I love it because it has been a calling from God. It is my way of serving His kingdom, my way of bringing Him glory. What purposes He has for me, I don't know yet, BUT I know, His will, I will follow.
I love the man I'm going out with and I know the Lord has blessed my life with him. I love him for the fact that he has the courage and tenacity to pursue what he loves and not just any money making job. I love the fact that we both want excellence in what we do. I love the fact that he adores children like I do and has such a loving heart for animals. I love him because he knows me, understands me and even though he isn't the richest of men, he provides for me and loves me in his own way. I don't need a guy who buys and showers me with gifts. Don't people get it. I am not that kind of girl and it saddens me when friends ask me that, because that's the kind of person they think I am.
I know it isn't the easiest relationship to be in, nor the most convenient, simply cause of some parental objections, but I know it's cause they've yet to meet Sherwin, they've yet to understand and see the bond and love we share. I have grown to care and to love this wonderful man in my life. I do deserve better, I know that, and that's why I'm thankful that God has given me His best. I'm not going to define and qualify my relationship based on the terms of the world.. My T&Cs have been fulfilled and upheld in His name!
Miss X, who shall not be named, asked me this one day. Perhaps it's not only her but a few others who question my relationship with Sherwin, who question my choice. Miss X qualified her statement by saying "He doesn't even own a car and he's not like rich or anything and doesn't earn a lot of money. You can go out with someone better".
I wonder how many people actually think that way.
I am saddened, just saddened by the thought that some people put a price to a relationship. I know to some extent, my mother feels the same way, and we just simply give the excuse of them being Asian, being protective. But I know, this pursuit for wealth and for marrying well isn't just as simple as, being Asian.
It's the lack of understanding of God, of God's love and sacrifice. It's that void, the God like void in their hearts that has yet to be filled. They crave, always crave for that something better, that someone who is wealthier, smarter and better looking. It's the lack of God in their life, that they fail to understand that we're all made equal and special in God's eyes. It's the lack of understanding that when we put these terms and conditions to a relationship, it's akin to saying that these are the things that we define ourselves by.
It's simple. How we define ourselves, is the same very way we define and qualify others and to deem whether they are worthy or not, whether they are an "investment" worthy of our time. I thank God for the day He saved me and gave me His salvation, I thank God every single day that I was given the understanding beyond this pragmatism, I am thankful everyday that I don't define myself by what I do/study, how much I earn and what I wear.
I don't define myself as a dental student and what not.. things that people put to your name. When people introduce you, "hi, this is so and so and she's a dental student..." it doesn't make me any happier, it just saddens me that that's all I have been defined as in their eyes. Being in a healthcare profession or even allied health, doesn't make us more "professional" nor is our status more prestigious. I am a child of God, I am a servant.. being a dentist doesn't make me smarter or better than someone else. I am just a child of God. Why can't people understand?
I love what I do by the Grace of God, not for money, not for fame, I love it because it has been a calling from God. It is my way of serving His kingdom, my way of bringing Him glory. What purposes He has for me, I don't know yet, BUT I know, His will, I will follow.
I love the man I'm going out with and I know the Lord has blessed my life with him. I love him for the fact that he has the courage and tenacity to pursue what he loves and not just any money making job. I love the fact that we both want excellence in what we do. I love the fact that he adores children like I do and has such a loving heart for animals. I love him because he knows me, understands me and even though he isn't the richest of men, he provides for me and loves me in his own way. I don't need a guy who buys and showers me with gifts. Don't people get it. I am not that kind of girl and it saddens me when friends ask me that, because that's the kind of person they think I am.
I know it isn't the easiest relationship to be in, nor the most convenient, simply cause of some parental objections, but I know it's cause they've yet to meet Sherwin, they've yet to understand and see the bond and love we share. I have grown to care and to love this wonderful man in my life. I do deserve better, I know that, and that's why I'm thankful that God has given me His best. I'm not going to define and qualify my relationship based on the terms of the world.. My T&Cs have been fulfilled and upheld in His name!
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Socially Awkward =)
It's really interesting how the mind changes with age and experiences.
It's interesting when I go onto facebook and scroll through the newsfeed and see something new about an old schoolmate. You know, the one whom you found really cute in school? Or about the popular crowd at school or about that cool chick that you always wished you were? And it's such a bizarre feeling when I look at them now and just wonder why I ever EVER had the slightest bit of admiration for them. Rather, those who were cute.. are.. NOT so cute now. You know, they seem to have gone past their peak, their peak was in secondary school or JC, but they've stagnated. It's weird how I would have wished to want to be in their shoes, even for awhile in the past, but right now, I'm happy I was neither riding on their coat tails or swooning over those boys.
Perhaps I was a rather odd one. You know, the awkward girl (I still am), keeping her head down and never wanting to attract attention.. The one that never broke the rules, the teacher's pet, the one that went straight home from school and had tonnes of tuition. The girl who never wore her skirt above her knees and never tried to modify her uniform to look cool. The girl who embodied the exact definition of uncool. Yea.. I am that girl, I was and I still partially carry her in me.
I don't know how much of that my friends actually knew. Perhaps I am not as weird or awkward as I think myself to be, but oddly enough, I am silently proud of who I am and what I stand for. I never found pleasure in being like everyone else, I never found joy in being one of the "mean girls" and moving up the social ladder at the expense of someone else. I'm not the nicest person on earth, but at least I know, I try to be. I wonder what kind of people some of my peers have become? I wonder what their pursuits in life would be?
If experiences in life shape your choices and your destiny, then I truly do wonder what kind of choices they would make in their life. What would they do to get what they want?
I know I will always be that slightly socially awkward person, but I know I will be one who would be there when you truly need a helping hand, the awkward girl who would sit and listen to you, laugh and cry with you. I'm not the nicest person on earth, but I know everyday I try to be as Christ like as I can be. I don't really know what got into me to write this post, but I guess things have become quite sour amongst a few cliques in dental school and I feel like i've been thrown back into Secondary school again. It's just a recollection of these emotions again and realizing that some people are just the same, in Aust or in Singapore, or in any part of the world.. There will always be THOSE people, the "popular", catty, bitchy bunch, and there will always be the socially awkward me.
It's interesting when I go onto facebook and scroll through the newsfeed and see something new about an old schoolmate. You know, the one whom you found really cute in school? Or about the popular crowd at school or about that cool chick that you always wished you were? And it's such a bizarre feeling when I look at them now and just wonder why I ever EVER had the slightest bit of admiration for them. Rather, those who were cute.. are.. NOT so cute now. You know, they seem to have gone past their peak, their peak was in secondary school or JC, but they've stagnated. It's weird how I would have wished to want to be in their shoes, even for awhile in the past, but right now, I'm happy I was neither riding on their coat tails or swooning over those boys.
Perhaps I was a rather odd one. You know, the awkward girl (I still am), keeping her head down and never wanting to attract attention.. The one that never broke the rules, the teacher's pet, the one that went straight home from school and had tonnes of tuition. The girl who never wore her skirt above her knees and never tried to modify her uniform to look cool. The girl who embodied the exact definition of uncool. Yea.. I am that girl, I was and I still partially carry her in me.
I don't know how much of that my friends actually knew. Perhaps I am not as weird or awkward as I think myself to be, but oddly enough, I am silently proud of who I am and what I stand for. I never found pleasure in being like everyone else, I never found joy in being one of the "mean girls" and moving up the social ladder at the expense of someone else. I'm not the nicest person on earth, but at least I know, I try to be. I wonder what kind of people some of my peers have become? I wonder what their pursuits in life would be?
If experiences in life shape your choices and your destiny, then I truly do wonder what kind of choices they would make in their life. What would they do to get what they want?
I know I will always be that slightly socially awkward person, but I know I will be one who would be there when you truly need a helping hand, the awkward girl who would sit and listen to you, laugh and cry with you. I'm not the nicest person on earth, but I know everyday I try to be as Christ like as I can be. I don't really know what got into me to write this post, but I guess things have become quite sour amongst a few cliques in dental school and I feel like i've been thrown back into Secondary school again. It's just a recollection of these emotions again and realizing that some people are just the same, in Aust or in Singapore, or in any part of the world.. There will always be THOSE people, the "popular", catty, bitchy bunch, and there will always be the socially awkward me.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Perhaps..
I'm in the middle of studying for a test and I guess I just want to let some thoughts out, like in harry potter with the Pensieve, I need my blogsieve.
I'm just pondering upon the thought of.. when is it the right time to say "why do I even bother?". I can't seem to bring myself to act on it, I'd be lying if I said I never think of that, but I've never acted upon it. Somehow in that heart of mine, I just can't bring myself to. Perhaps it's just altruistic? That I can't bring myself to not care or give up trying and stop hoping.
If someone you care about don't make it an effort to remember what you've done for them or given them, or not remember any of the somewhat comforting promises they make, when then do you say, "honestly, why do I even bother?". Is there a number to it? I know of many people who'd be mad/disappointed that all of their love and effort was not remembered or even unfortunately, forgotten. I would like to be mad, I'd like to be angry, but at the end of the day, I'm neither of that, just slightly cut/hurt that all that effort wasn't worth remembering.
It does come to a point in my head where I ask myself, why.. and my only logical answer to that is.. Love. Just like how God loves.. He never gives up, He never stops loving. so why should we?
Does this count as discontentment?
Perhaps I try too hard or too much and I shouldn't. Perhaps what they all say about letting someone love you more than you love them is right. Perhaps I'm just thinking a bit too much. Perhaps I'm just on one of those days and moments. But perhaps, just perhaps, there's a little part inside of me that wishes for that little bit more TLC. Just for a change, to be completely cared for and not needing to care. To perhaps have a splitting version of me, just caring and loving me the way I would others. I don't know why I have that many "perhaps" today.. I just do.. cause perhaps today.. I'm asking myself.. why do i bother.
I'm just pondering upon the thought of.. when is it the right time to say "why do I even bother?". I can't seem to bring myself to act on it, I'd be lying if I said I never think of that, but I've never acted upon it. Somehow in that heart of mine, I just can't bring myself to. Perhaps it's just altruistic? That I can't bring myself to not care or give up trying and stop hoping.
If someone you care about don't make it an effort to remember what you've done for them or given them, or not remember any of the somewhat comforting promises they make, when then do you say, "honestly, why do I even bother?". Is there a number to it? I know of many people who'd be mad/disappointed that all of their love and effort was not remembered or even unfortunately, forgotten. I would like to be mad, I'd like to be angry, but at the end of the day, I'm neither of that, just slightly cut/hurt that all that effort wasn't worth remembering.
It does come to a point in my head where I ask myself, why.. and my only logical answer to that is.. Love. Just like how God loves.. He never gives up, He never stops loving. so why should we?
Does this count as discontentment?
Perhaps I try too hard or too much and I shouldn't. Perhaps what they all say about letting someone love you more than you love them is right. Perhaps I'm just thinking a bit too much. Perhaps I'm just on one of those days and moments. But perhaps, just perhaps, there's a little part inside of me that wishes for that little bit more TLC. Just for a change, to be completely cared for and not needing to care. To perhaps have a splitting version of me, just caring and loving me the way I would others. I don't know why I have that many "perhaps" today.. I just do.. cause perhaps today.. I'm asking myself.. why do i bother.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Random thought of the day..
As a healthcare professional, I'm responsible for someone's well being, especially their dental/oral health, but who then, takes care of us and our well being? When you're in an institution that doesn't really care about you, BUT what YOU CAN DO for them, who then cares for your mental sanity? If you're always caring for others, do they actually reciprocate? Or are people in healthcare just innately caring yet low maintenance themselves?
I actually don't know. I'd love to say that we don't need that TLC, but sometimes it's good that others know that we're flesh and blood, that we burn out and we do appreciate that concern too. Sometimes it's just tiring to have to be that happy smiley person.
I actually don't know. I'd love to say that we don't need that TLC, but sometimes it's good that others know that we're flesh and blood, that we burn out and we do appreciate that concern too. Sometimes it's just tiring to have to be that happy smiley person.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Things they never told you about being a Dental Student
Things they never told you about being a Dental Student
1. When people said, "Say goodbye to your life" when you enrolled, they WERE NOT kidding, they were merely stating a fact.
2. Your home basically becomes a place where you only sleep.
3. You spend so much of the day at uni that you only go home when it's dark and leave the next morning at the crack of dawn.
4. You learn how to speak "patient language" and somehow automatically switch that mode on when someone talks teeth.
5. You become hypersensitive to anything between teeth and feel absolutely comfortable telling someone that they have something between their teeth, regardless of whether or not they'll feel embarrassed.
6. No matter how handsome/pretty someone is, bad teeth will always be a deal breaker.
7. Conversations always end up about teeth.
8. You get annoyed when someone says "medical school is so much harder", because you know that's not true!
9. You realise most dental students fall into the same stereotype. Slightly obsessive, perfectionistic, high strung, probably mental, yet you'd proudly claim it.
10. You never realise just HOW politically correct your speech becomes, especially dealing with higher authority!
11. You eat more junk than you ever have, drink more coffee or caffeinated drinks than ever, study about the bad eating habits and get away with it because... you're a dental student.
12. People judge your teeth when they know you're in dental school.. Which is.. Not fair.
13. No one recognises the hours you spend in the lab to fabricate something for them, they only see it when it's flawed.
14. You never realise how emotional you can get when things go wrong, or how helpless you can feel about situations. Some situations in dental school.. you can never be in control of.
15. You feel a sense of satisfaction when a patient remembers what you taught them about oral hygiene and when they thank you for cleaning their teeth.
After all the long hours, the sweat, the blood and the occasional tears, it becomes all worth it when you know you've changed a person's habits and showed them what clean teeth should really be. Yes. Dental school is all consuming, it demands excellence from you, it builds you up to be someone you were not, it gives you the responsibility of someone else's health, it tests your tenacity, your resilience and your perseverance. For many, it builds character. I won't ever say dental school is easy, much less encourage anyone to enrol unless they have real passion for it, because it's not for the fickle minded nor the faint hearted. It's not for the money nor the prestige, (let's face it, how prestigious is it looking down someone's throat everyday?). It's for the true desire to provide a service to help, to improve lives and make a difference. At least that's what dental school is for me.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Contentment
What exactly is contentment?
Is contentment the state of always being joyful and happy? Can we be content in an unjust event, in unfortunate situations and draining circumstances? Can we truly be content in trying times?
The answer is yes. We can be content. Contentment, simply put, is the knowledge that despite the circumstance, you know God has His best interests for you, no matter how tough or how painful, you know His grace is sufficient. That you don't have to try or work to earn His love, He has already loved you and gone before all of your circumstances and taken control of it. Isn't that just a wonderful reality?
What I realised at the Perth Women's convention is also the fact that God didn't say you can't complain or grumble or be upset or lament at a situation. He wants you to.. But not to others about how He is insufficient, but to bring your cares and woes directly to Him and He will be gentle and loving to you. This is my father who wants to hear me, He knows my worries and my woes, yet he hears me and holds me close. This is my father who loves me so dearly and in His love, I am content.
Isn't it bizarre? How we always crave and yearn for that something more when we have so much? Or how we easily complete the sentence of.. "I wish I had...", "if only I could..", "If only I had...". Perhaps it's these questions that cause our discontentment. Perhaps fulfilling these statements wouldn't bring us true contentment. Momentarily, for sure, but permanently? There must be something in this world that could satisfy us.. Right?
And it's so simple.. yet.. so easily forgotten.. If we aren't content, then why not look to the maker of the universe, the One who has everything and wants to give you everything in His kingdom? Would that not answer all of those questions and be a permanent solution to discontentment?
I wish for my friends to find contentment in the knowledge of God's Love and Grace. Because for once in my life, I am content. =)
Is contentment the state of always being joyful and happy? Can we be content in an unjust event, in unfortunate situations and draining circumstances? Can we truly be content in trying times?
The answer is yes. We can be content. Contentment, simply put, is the knowledge that despite the circumstance, you know God has His best interests for you, no matter how tough or how painful, you know His grace is sufficient. That you don't have to try or work to earn His love, He has already loved you and gone before all of your circumstances and taken control of it. Isn't that just a wonderful reality?
What I realised at the Perth Women's convention is also the fact that God didn't say you can't complain or grumble or be upset or lament at a situation. He wants you to.. But not to others about how He is insufficient, but to bring your cares and woes directly to Him and He will be gentle and loving to you. This is my father who wants to hear me, He knows my worries and my woes, yet he hears me and holds me close. This is my father who loves me so dearly and in His love, I am content.
Isn't it bizarre? How we always crave and yearn for that something more when we have so much? Or how we easily complete the sentence of.. "I wish I had...", "if only I could..", "If only I had...". Perhaps it's these questions that cause our discontentment. Perhaps fulfilling these statements wouldn't bring us true contentment. Momentarily, for sure, but permanently? There must be something in this world that could satisfy us.. Right?
And it's so simple.. yet.. so easily forgotten.. If we aren't content, then why not look to the maker of the universe, the One who has everything and wants to give you everything in His kingdom? Would that not answer all of those questions and be a permanent solution to discontentment?
I wish for my friends to find contentment in the knowledge of God's Love and Grace. Because for once in my life, I am content. =)
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Dating epiphanies
Mid exam period. Goodness me. I think stress has taken a different form and level. I've never felt that much fear and anxiety nor stressed induced crying. You may think I probably should have been quite accustomed to exam stress, just cause I've had so many already, but sitting for an exam for something that I love, is a totally different experience. I'm glad I had his shoulders to cry on and his embrace to give me comfort.
Well.. Just recently, I read an article online, and I find it funny cause I think every chef's significant other would have the same experiences about dating and about life. =)
Here's the article:
Well.. I guess I have to agree.. the longs hours, the hours of absence, the non-present presence in gatherings and the "I wish you were here" moments. I guess it takes a certain kind of girl to date a chef.. one who appreciates the what little, yet precious time we have together, one who enjoys food as much as they do, one who loves the person behind the chef whites to stand by him and brave the storms, come what may. Life may not be as easy or as rosy, but the journey.. spectacular. I guess what's key.. is not patience, but LOVE. and... I LOVE YOU!
Well.. Just recently, I read an article online, and I find it funny cause I think every chef's significant other would have the same experiences about dating and about life. =)
Here's the article:
10 Things They Don’t Tell You About Dating a ChefPosted on May 17, 2012 by Terree
I recently came across this short article in Yahoo’s Shine by Tweeter/Blogger photographer Annie Wang Kraft and I can so relate to her. I’ve dated both doctors and chefs. Both have lousy hours – - but doctors generally make a helluva lot more money to make up for the crazy hours. On the other hand, most chefs don’t believe they walk on water, and are better lovers than doctors. So if you still have romantic notions about dating a chef, after reading the Top 10 below, then follow the link to her blog & Twitter page to read about her daily life.
1. They rarely cook for you at home. Everyone always assumes that I have a magnificent home-cooked meal waiting for me all the time, but that is far from the truth. Why? Because a restaurant kitchen is usually a million times more fun to cook and experiment in. It often has high end gadgetry that you probably do not have (or can fit) in your home kitchen. If you rent in New York City, then you might understand the rarity of a full sized stove and oven.
2. But you really do eat like a king or queen. Chefs are passionate about their art and they’re very serious about it. They show their emotions through food and they often use food to romance you. You’re in for a spectacular surprise once you dine in your significant other’s restaurant or meet them for lunch. They might just surprise you with a gourmet picnic meal.
3. Date nights are not on the weekends. I’ve come to accept the fact that I’ll have to go out to a lot of events and gatherings by myself. Weekends — aka when many social events happen — are the busiest days in the restaurant industry. But the great thing about weird chef schedules is that they often get Sundays or Mondays off — the perfect day to go to a new restaurant or cocktail lounge that’s normally hard to get into.
4. Every moment counts (maybe a little bit more). It’s so tough when they’re working nights and you’re working days that it can be difficult to find overlapping free-time you can spend together. I savor every little trip and outing with my husband — even grocery shopping. There was a period when we rarely saw each other, so much so that I would skip birthday parties and appointments to be with him. It’s difficult for some people to understand, but we’ve learned to make it work. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” sure sounds cheesy, but a chef’s wife knows it is probably true.
5. You get to experience an amazing variety of restaurants. I’ve been to tiny under-the-radar restaurants because my husband loves discovering new restaurants and trying new foods he hears about in the chef circuit. I would have never bothered to visit these eclectic mix of restaurants otherwise.
6. You’re going to learn so many crazy food words by accident. You’ll be spouting off words like “mignardises,” “transglutaminase,” and “thermal immersion circulator” before you can say Vol-au-Vent. You’ll hear chefs talk about cooking techniques or their newest experiments all the time like geeky teenage boys. Eventually, you’ll pick up the words and actually understand what they’re saying. If you asked me what these words meant before I met my husband, I would’ve given you a blank stare and assumed you were trying to explain a weird science fiction novel, but now I’m pretty much a food geek, too.
7. You become insanely sensitive to the dining experience. And you’ll garner sympathy for front-of-the-house staff and the kitchen staff. (Especially if you’re eating at your significant other’s restaurant.) Improper dining etiquette will annoy the hell out of you, like rude behavior (people who invite themselves to sit down when they don’t have a reservation) and crappy tipping (for the record, servers should be tipped 20%). Grr! I’m annoyed just thinking about these things. Let’s move on.
8. People will ask you for restaurant recommendations and cooking tips. Or they ask you to ask him. Because I’m married to a chef, I’ve suddenly become a walking cookbook/food guide. Sometimes people will ask me for recommendations for a cuisine I’m not familiar with and I’ll feel flustered or embarrassed for not knowing it (not that I’m supposed to anyways).
9. You’ll try foods you would normally never try. It usually starts out with my husband saying, “Here. Try this.” You might think that I’m gullible, but I trust him even though I’ve ended up trying all sorts of weird offal dishes because of him. I’m actually glad I just dig in and try all this unique food without asking. I’ve definitely become less of a picky eater and I do love fried sweetbread now (even though I still o not want to think too much about what it is, anatomically).
10. Patience is key, especially when you’re married to a chef. I’m still figuring this one out myself. Things will come up at restaurants unexpectedly. It can be anything from a group of diners who came in late, rowdy patrons at the bar, or something in the kitchen took longer to prepare than anticipated. He might not be able to get home until 3 a.m., and considering how little I see him, it can be particularly frustrating. Things happen that are beyond your control and the only thing you can really do it be patient and wait. But realistically, who wants to wait around for someone all night? Remember, though: you might go to sleep alone, but you’ll wake up next to the person you love — and it’s worth it.
Here's the link to the original article:Original article: 10 things they don't tell you about dating a chef
Well.. I guess I have to agree.. the longs hours, the hours of absence, the non-present presence in gatherings and the "I wish you were here" moments. I guess it takes a certain kind of girl to date a chef.. one who appreciates the what little, yet precious time we have together, one who enjoys food as much as they do, one who loves the person behind the chef whites to stand by him and brave the storms, come what may. Life may not be as easy or as rosy, but the journey.. spectacular. I guess what's key.. is not patience, but LOVE. and... I LOVE YOU!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Garments of the Lord
I've had a valuable weekend. To be taught a lesson on graciousness and love. SMA conference was such a blessing, just speaking to people in my profession, Christian dentists who uphold the value of Christian healthcare, who live by the word and for the word in our profession. It's not just about being a Christian in healthcare, but being Christian Healthcare. Doing every single thing for the Lord and through the Lord.
I have often just relied on my own strength to achieve something, but how silly of me to think that God doesn't care about the little things I do. He does. He cares about every single thing that I do in dentistry, He'll use every moment to bless others and to show others His grace. It's not me in dentistry, I'm just a tool for God to do His works in dentistry.
It was such an empowering message over the weekend, to be clothed in God's clothing. That's all we need. God has prepared the garments for us, garments of love
" And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." -Colossians 3: 14
Love binds all other virtues together, v12 Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. These are how we are to clothe ourselves as Christians. To wear these garments and bless other people through it. People will be drawn to love, especially God's love.
I can't help but feel so humbled by Grace, humbled because I know I often fall short of wearing these garments. My previous post is a good example of that and a reminder to myself that I often fall short of showing God's love. It is for me to consciously endeavour to clothe myself in the garments of the Lord.
I have often just relied on my own strength to achieve something, but how silly of me to think that God doesn't care about the little things I do. He does. He cares about every single thing that I do in dentistry, He'll use every moment to bless others and to show others His grace. It's not me in dentistry, I'm just a tool for God to do His works in dentistry.
It was such an empowering message over the weekend, to be clothed in God's clothing. That's all we need. God has prepared the garments for us, garments of love
" And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." -Colossians 3: 14
Love binds all other virtues together, v12 Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. These are how we are to clothe ourselves as Christians. To wear these garments and bless other people through it. People will be drawn to love, especially God's love.
I can't help but feel so humbled by Grace, humbled because I know I often fall short of wearing these garments. My previous post is a good example of that and a reminder to myself that I often fall short of showing God's love. It is for me to consciously endeavour to clothe myself in the garments of the Lord.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
ONE SCUM
Just saying.. I'm writing this in a very very emotional state of mind, yet for some reason, rational. I'd like to be a girl and kick up a big fuss but I'm trying to find that patience in me to not. If you guys know me well enough, I'm GENERALLY a very nice person and I let things pass, not to say I let people walk all over me, but I let things pass. But sometimes when someone crosses paths with me and chooses to step on my toes, not once but all the time, then I have to apologise, cause this GENERALLY nice person will NOT BE ANYMORE.
Think of the most obnoxious person you've ever met in your life, multiply that by ten and place the most annoying face you can think of on that person, then piece that with the fact that he uses God's word against you to speak DOWN to you and not embody a single trait of God's word, yes.. place that with the fact that he is rude and arrogant too. (ok. you get my point)
Let's just say I had to work with such a person while organising an event, and it is THE MOST unpleasant experience ever. So much so that I don't even want to be a part of this anymore. It breaks my heart to say this, but I just can't find any "nice-ness" in me anymore to look this person in the eye without my blood boiling. And in true spirit of a lady, when you meet a prick as such, you do not confront, (because all well brought up ladies should never), but you treat them indifferently. You do not be mean to them or say anything inappropriate, because it's not befitting for a lady to do so.. So in your (rather, mine) sphere of life, this person VANISHES. i.e.: In my dictionary, he is non-existent.
So here's my dilemma, he's in the ex-co of the organisation that I'm in, and I'm in the ex-co too. What should I do? In all honesty, everyone would tell me to forgive and forget and you don't get to choose who you work with in life. Of course, I do understand that, but we are also given a choice to NOT WORK with them. To subject myself to anymore of his hypocrisy and arrogance would need me to be an eternal hypocrite, because I can't even bring myself to be politically correct and socially polite to him. (YES. you now know the extent to HOW PEEVED I AM)
I want to step down from my responsibilities, I'll tidy the knots and hand it over to them, but I really cannot see myself working with such a scum, I really can't. I have never felt so much anger towards one single person and I can't bring myself to be angry over someone unworthy of existence in my sphere of life.
I don't even know what the Christian thing to do is. Really.
On the brighter side of things, I'm so so blessed to have wonderful friends who so sacrificially offer their help. I'm so blessed to have friends who understand and care.. You know who you are. And of course, I'm so SO Blessed to have a boyfriend who stands up for me, who feels indignant for me, who would, I know, take down any guy who bullies me and comforts me the way I need to be comforted.
Indeed, sometimes you need scums in your life as a reminder of how wonderfully awesome those around you are.
Think of the most obnoxious person you've ever met in your life, multiply that by ten and place the most annoying face you can think of on that person, then piece that with the fact that he uses God's word against you to speak DOWN to you and not embody a single trait of God's word, yes.. place that with the fact that he is rude and arrogant too. (ok. you get my point)
Let's just say I had to work with such a person while organising an event, and it is THE MOST unpleasant experience ever. So much so that I don't even want to be a part of this anymore. It breaks my heart to say this, but I just can't find any "nice-ness" in me anymore to look this person in the eye without my blood boiling. And in true spirit of a lady, when you meet a prick as such, you do not confront, (because all well brought up ladies should never), but you treat them indifferently. You do not be mean to them or say anything inappropriate, because it's not befitting for a lady to do so.. So in your (rather, mine) sphere of life, this person VANISHES. i.e.: In my dictionary, he is non-existent.
So here's my dilemma, he's in the ex-co of the organisation that I'm in, and I'm in the ex-co too. What should I do? In all honesty, everyone would tell me to forgive and forget and you don't get to choose who you work with in life. Of course, I do understand that, but we are also given a choice to NOT WORK with them. To subject myself to anymore of his hypocrisy and arrogance would need me to be an eternal hypocrite, because I can't even bring myself to be politically correct and socially polite to him. (YES. you now know the extent to HOW PEEVED I AM)
I want to step down from my responsibilities, I'll tidy the knots and hand it over to them, but I really cannot see myself working with such a scum, I really can't. I have never felt so much anger towards one single person and I can't bring myself to be angry over someone unworthy of existence in my sphere of life.
I don't even know what the Christian thing to do is. Really.
On the brighter side of things, I'm so so blessed to have wonderful friends who so sacrificially offer their help. I'm so blessed to have friends who understand and care.. You know who you are. And of course, I'm so SO Blessed to have a boyfriend who stands up for me, who feels indignant for me, who would, I know, take down any guy who bullies me and comforts me the way I need to be comforted.
Indeed, sometimes you need scums in your life as a reminder of how wonderfully awesome those around you are.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Saw this on a website and decided that I should re-post it!
Date a person who is chivalrous, not as in “into patriarchy, paternalism and/or oppressing you” but as in someone who isn’t afraid to show they care about you. No matter your gender, be with someone who wants to open the door for you, just to smile as they watch you walk through it, and someone who lets you do the same for them. Someone who will pull out a chair for you or stand up when you leave the table, not because it’s expected of them socially but they want to show you how much your company means to them. Someone who wants to walk you home, not only to make sure you are safe but also because they want to spend more time with you and smile at you as your smile disappears behind the door. Someone who will wait up to hear you got home safe if they can’t walk you home and will ask you to walk them home, because they want to feel protected by you, too.
Seek out a mate who isn’t afraid to hold your hand or put their coat around you when you look cold, who knows that Public Displays of Affection aren’t as important as knowing you are cared for, even in small ways. Put your energy into a person who puts their energy and effort into you, someone who will buy you flowers if you like flowers or knows exactly what book you would want on your birthday. Someone who has listened to your opinions, your hopes and your desires enough to know the things you like and the things you don’t like, the correct ways to show you they care. Someone who knows to ask when you want to be held and caressed and when you want your space, when you want to have sex and what consent is. Someone who knows how important the word “no” is.
Date a person who tells you nice things about yourself and builds up your confidence but challenges you when you need to be challenged. You deserve to be with those who know when to argue and to call you on your bullsh-t, but also know when signals from you tell them to leave you alone and let it be. Someone who won’t let you go to bed angry and is willing to talk about what’s bothering you, if even what’s bothering you doesn’t quite make sense or seem that important to them. Someone who knows that personal relationships aren’t as simple as who is right and who is wrong, that your opinion and perspective are valid, even when the two of you totally disagree. Someone who knows you aren’t always right and they aren’t always right but are willing to affirm the person your belief system, because your opinions are a part of the person they adore.
Spend time with people who don’t make you choose between being friends and being lovers, who you feel like you can genuinely have fun and be comfortable with. You need to be able to be casual, hang out in your pajama pants and be like buddies sometimes, while also valuing the romantic side of your connection. Someone who (when you get that far) understands what balance is in a relationship, that sometimes you need to go out and do your own thing. Someone who trusts you to make your own choices and to come home and be with them at the end of the night without the need to interrogate you, or if you are in an open relationship, someone who always trusts that your connection is stronger. Someone who gets that being together and waking up together every day is a choice, one you have to continue to make and continue to commit to.
Date someone who wants what you want, who is open to the idea of the relationship you desire with another human being. You need to be with people who are open to what you have to give to them and are willing to match it. Someone who has communicated enough on the subject to know what you are looking for with someone, whether that be a fling, friends with benefits or a person to bring home to your parents or chosen family. Someone who isn’t afraid to give you what you want in life but also respects themselves enough to have standards and value what they need and deserve in this relationship (or even friendship!) Someone who isn’t afraid to let you know how they feel: about you, about life, about what’s important to them, about the future or about whatever is on their mind.
Life is short, so you shouldn’t waste it on someone who doesn’t understand you, refuses to try and get you, won’t put in the time for you, who is rude to you, your friends or to other people and doesn’t even call you. Don’t worry about if they read, if they don’t read, if they watch movies or if they’re into the wrong kind of music; worry about whether they care that you do. Details are important, but if the world ends this year, it’ll be more important to say you wasted the time you have left with someone who cares.
You Should Date Someone Who Cares About You
By
You should be with someone who values your time and calls when they say they are going to, who shows up on time to a date or texts you if they are going to be late. Spend your time with people who aren’t too important to look up from their phone and stop texting when you are speaking or who know not to answer unimportant calls when you are together. Someone who politely apologizes for taking that important call and knows who to pick up for. Someone who also knows that their parents and their grandparents are important in their life, too, and has a good enough relationship with their family to pick up when they call. Someone who still tells their mother or father “I love you,” even when they are in public, and who can’t wait to tell you, when the time is ready.
By
You should be with someone who values your time and calls when they say they are going to, who shows up on time to a date or texts you if they are going to be late. Spend your time with people who aren’t too important to look up from their phone and stop texting when you are speaking or who know not to answer unimportant calls when you are together. Someone who politely apologizes for taking that important call and knows who to pick up for. Someone who also knows that their parents and their grandparents are important in their life, too, and has a good enough relationship with their family to pick up when they call. Someone who still tells their mother or father “I love you,” even when they are in public, and who can’t wait to tell you, when the time is ready.
Date a person who is chivalrous, not as in “into patriarchy, paternalism and/or oppressing you” but as in someone who isn’t afraid to show they care about you. No matter your gender, be with someone who wants to open the door for you, just to smile as they watch you walk through it, and someone who lets you do the same for them. Someone who will pull out a chair for you or stand up when you leave the table, not because it’s expected of them socially but they want to show you how much your company means to them. Someone who wants to walk you home, not only to make sure you are safe but also because they want to spend more time with you and smile at you as your smile disappears behind the door. Someone who will wait up to hear you got home safe if they can’t walk you home and will ask you to walk them home, because they want to feel protected by you, too.
Seek out a mate who isn’t afraid to hold your hand or put their coat around you when you look cold, who knows that Public Displays of Affection aren’t as important as knowing you are cared for, even in small ways. Put your energy into a person who puts their energy and effort into you, someone who will buy you flowers if you like flowers or knows exactly what book you would want on your birthday. Someone who has listened to your opinions, your hopes and your desires enough to know the things you like and the things you don’t like, the correct ways to show you they care. Someone who knows to ask when you want to be held and caressed and when you want your space, when you want to have sex and what consent is. Someone who knows how important the word “no” is.
Date a person who tells you nice things about yourself and builds up your confidence but challenges you when you need to be challenged. You deserve to be with those who know when to argue and to call you on your bullsh-t, but also know when signals from you tell them to leave you alone and let it be. Someone who won’t let you go to bed angry and is willing to talk about what’s bothering you, if even what’s bothering you doesn’t quite make sense or seem that important to them. Someone who knows that personal relationships aren’t as simple as who is right and who is wrong, that your opinion and perspective are valid, even when the two of you totally disagree. Someone who knows you aren’t always right and they aren’t always right but are willing to affirm the person your belief system, because your opinions are a part of the person they adore.
Spend time with people who don’t make you choose between being friends and being lovers, who you feel like you can genuinely have fun and be comfortable with. You need to be able to be casual, hang out in your pajama pants and be like buddies sometimes, while also valuing the romantic side of your connection. Someone who (when you get that far) understands what balance is in a relationship, that sometimes you need to go out and do your own thing. Someone who trusts you to make your own choices and to come home and be with them at the end of the night without the need to interrogate you, or if you are in an open relationship, someone who always trusts that your connection is stronger. Someone who gets that being together and waking up together every day is a choice, one you have to continue to make and continue to commit to.
Date someone who wants what you want, who is open to the idea of the relationship you desire with another human being. You need to be with people who are open to what you have to give to them and are willing to match it. Someone who has communicated enough on the subject to know what you are looking for with someone, whether that be a fling, friends with benefits or a person to bring home to your parents or chosen family. Someone who isn’t afraid to give you what you want in life but also respects themselves enough to have standards and value what they need and deserve in this relationship (or even friendship!) Someone who isn’t afraid to let you know how they feel: about you, about life, about what’s important to them, about the future or about whatever is on their mind.
Life is short, so you shouldn’t waste it on someone who doesn’t understand you, refuses to try and get you, won’t put in the time for you, who is rude to you, your friends or to other people and doesn’t even call you. Don’t worry about if they read, if they don’t read, if they watch movies or if they’re into the wrong kind of music; worry about whether they care that you do. Details are important, but if the world ends this year, it’ll be more important to say you wasted the time you have left with someone who cares.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Clinic Blessings
I used to think that being a dentist, I'd be able to bless people's life. I had all the intention to do what I can to make their lives better, to give them a gift of wonderful smiles, little did I know that the person whose life would change and would be blessed is not just theirs, but mine.
I finally have taste of what it is to be a true clinician. It doesn't matter anymore how well I perform on a dummy head, it doesn't matter anymore what my grades are, what matters is that my patients feel as comfortable as they can, what matters is that their well-being is taken care of, their concerns are addressed. What I thought being a dentist would be has turned out to be a dream come true, only better.
I enjoy my time with my patients, I love talking to them and doing what I can to give them my best. From 8 to 80, regardless of age, they've blessed my life and taught me lessons I never dreamt of having. It has truly been rewarding. I have been taught lessons of patience, of communication, of understanding, of genuine concern and most of all, love.
A patient of mine shared her love story with me and to see a 60 year old lady light up when she talks about her partner just brings so much joy to my heart. She talks to him like they are teenage lovebirds just falling in love again, she talks about him like he is such a treasure to her, he goes beyond the extra mile to care for her and to love her and despite her physical ailments, choose to marry her and take care of her. I respect that love, that intense chemistry and companionship. "How wonderful would that be for every girl to find that perfect man." those were her exact words.
For her, it was just a matter of marrying her best friend. As much as that may sound cliche to many, are words of true wisdom and experience. Girls in this day and age are looking for a guy to TREAT her like a princess, when what they should be looking for is a man who would CHERISH them like a princess. It is for a man to care for her and love her even more than the way he would care for himself. It is for a man to love her selflessly and put her in mind before anything else. These men are rare.
I wonder whether it is because we have STOPPED expecting. I know there are men out there who are like that and I know there possibly are men out there in the making to be like that. I am dating my best friend and he happens to be one of them.
I finally have taste of what it is to be a true clinician. It doesn't matter anymore how well I perform on a dummy head, it doesn't matter anymore what my grades are, what matters is that my patients feel as comfortable as they can, what matters is that their well-being is taken care of, their concerns are addressed. What I thought being a dentist would be has turned out to be a dream come true, only better.
I enjoy my time with my patients, I love talking to them and doing what I can to give them my best. From 8 to 80, regardless of age, they've blessed my life and taught me lessons I never dreamt of having. It has truly been rewarding. I have been taught lessons of patience, of communication, of understanding, of genuine concern and most of all, love.
A patient of mine shared her love story with me and to see a 60 year old lady light up when she talks about her partner just brings so much joy to my heart. She talks to him like they are teenage lovebirds just falling in love again, she talks about him like he is such a treasure to her, he goes beyond the extra mile to care for her and to love her and despite her physical ailments, choose to marry her and take care of her. I respect that love, that intense chemistry and companionship. "How wonderful would that be for every girl to find that perfect man." those were her exact words.
For her, it was just a matter of marrying her best friend. As much as that may sound cliche to many, are words of true wisdom and experience. Girls in this day and age are looking for a guy to TREAT her like a princess, when what they should be looking for is a man who would CHERISH them like a princess. It is for a man to care for her and love her even more than the way he would care for himself. It is for a man to love her selflessly and put her in mind before anything else. These men are rare.
I wonder whether it is because we have STOPPED expecting. I know there are men out there who are like that and I know there possibly are men out there in the making to be like that. I am dating my best friend and he happens to be one of them.
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