Saw this online and thought it'd be nice to share.. given the new age take on marriage, I think this is a good reminder that marriage isn't all rosy and sweet, but a journey that may be arduous and tumultuous and it is for us to "make the spark happen", for us to rough it out and for us to hold on to a holy covenant that marriage is exclusive, between a man and woman, for life. I want to make a home with the man I commit to loving for the rest of my life, I want our children to grow in a safe and loving home that they too may see the true essence and beauty of marriage.

A Letter to My Children About Marriage

by Kelly on February 2, 2012 in Legacy, Training Ground for Mature Adult Character

Dear Children,
Should the Lord give you the good gift of a husband or wife, and I hope He does, there are a few things I want you to know. Things that you may not hear from anyone else, and certainly not on TV or other media. Sadly, your church may not even tell you.

Marriage, sweet little people, is not for the purpose of your happiness. Happy as I want you to be and hope you will be, you must yet understand that marriage is God’s design and His purposes must be pursued in order for you to be truly happy. His end is holiness and He will use all things in a life devoted to Him to fulfill that end.

To my girls:
Marry a man whose first pursuit is Christ. After that, he is not hard to please. Admire him, cheer him on and show gratitude, and he will fall over himself trying to please you. Smile often, speak well of him always, and do whatever necessary to try and maintain a pleasant mood about you so that it transfers to your home, making it a place where he and your children love to be.
You’ll have bad days of course, crying days even, and that’s when you go to your bedroom, kneel on the floor and beg the Lord to carry you. Then get up, get a fresh perspective (crayons will come off the wall), and try again. Above all else, make a home.

To my boys:
Marry a woman whose first pursuit is Christ. After that, she may be hard to please only if you don’t know “the secret”. What is that? I’m glad you asked. The secret to pleasing your wife is to make her feel safe and treasured. You may have to move out of your comfort zone to do this at times. She won’t always readily translate the oil change to love, though it means that. But let me give you a “secret question”–a question you need to ask her often. It’s not just in the asking, though. Be sure to focus your eyes on hers, maybe even touch her shoulder or face, and then ask: “What’s on your mind these days? “ And then be ready to listen. She wants you to draw her out. She will perceive this as your protection over the matters of her heart. Tenderness, listening, protection. That’s what she wants.

To you all:
If your wife or husband does something really stupid, forgive. If they do it again, forgive again. Forgiveness must be the propelling force in your lives each day. Dwell on the strengths, push out thoughts of their weaknesses. Take every thought captive–choose to love.

Here’s that part you are not going to hear often:
If you find yourself “not happy”, having lost attraction, disinterested, etc., you are not permitted to even think about a divorce. If you find yourselves arguing more and more, don’t think for a minute that “the children will be better off out of this”, because they won’t.

The vows you took on your wedding day were not suggestions. They were covenant vows, before a Holy God, family and friends, to stay with this person the rest of your life, even if you don’t feel like it. You swore a solemn oath and if you can’t live up to it, don’t get married. Decide up front that your marriage is irrevocable. There is far more motivation for getting along if your “marriage house” has no door.

Do not share intimate thoughts or feelings with anyone of the opposite sex. Do not find yourself alone for any length of time with such either.

Divorce is not a “private option”. It will affect multiple families for many generations. When you “separate what God has joined” you permanently injure far more than just yourself.

Guard your marriage as fiercely as you would guard your own life. Treat your spouse as an extension of your flesh, just as God sees you. Treat your spouse like other family members. You know, “you gotta love ‘em, they’re the only family you’ve got”.

I want you to be happy, I surely do. But I will pray for you to be holy.

Can we be more conscious?

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could be apathetic, I wish I could not care, I wish my heart won't feel the pain, I wish I didn't cry at thoughts like that. Every time I watch the news, I hear of reports in the world of children being enslaved, of kids suffering the consequences of their negligent parents, of children being taken into child armies and of the many homes and lives lost due to natural disasters. 

It pains my heart every time I hear of it and visually seeing it makes my heartache so bad. I wish I could do something for them, I wish I can take them out of their misery, but I know, with what I have now, I can't do much but pray. To pray for their lives to be saved, for them to know the Lord, for Him to forgive their sins. 

Perhaps it's just me.. But I hope my friends and loved ones will feel the same for the less fortunate, to know how fortunate we are to have what we have and to appreciate the abundance that we enjoy. I wish for people to know that when we complain about the little we have, someone out there, has nothing. When we complain about the stresses of our education, there is a child out there who wishes for one and takes simple pride in a coloring book. When we wake up each morning hating what we do, wishing we could do something else in life, there is someone out there who is waking up wondering when their next meal will come. 

Maybe it's inconsequential to us, to our lives and what we do, but I do hope we stand up for injustice when we see it. I hope we feel indignant for the skilled worker that gets paid pittance for hours of laborious work for something that is charged 2000 times more. When we buy the next chocolate bar, coffee beans, cinnamon powder or even peppercorns, give thanks for what we have because someone spent hours harvesting, rolling and roasting them before they got to us, buy FAIR-TRADE even if it costs more. 

I just pray for more consciousness amongst this younger generation, I pray for people's heart to change and to have a social conscience. I pray that even though these people may seem to have very big problems in life, that they may receive Christ, because sin is a problem bigger than all of that, the absence of God in their lives is of greater urgency. 

Just like in Mark 2: 1-12

       1 "A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home.

      2 So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them.

      3 Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them.
      4 Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on.
     5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, 'Son, your sins are forgiven.'
     6 Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves,
     7 'Why does this fellow talk like that? He's blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?'
     8 Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, 'Why are you thinking these things?
     9 Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up, take your mat and walk'?
   10 But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins . . . .' He said to the paralytic,
    11 I'Il tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.'
    12 He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, 'We have never seen anything like this!"


Indeed, What is greater than our physical problems and circumstances, is our sin that paralyses us, our sin that can only be forgiven by God alone, our lives that can only be redeemed by Jesus's death for us. I pray for God's mercy to be upon them, upon the unfortunate and for those who yet to know Christ, accept him and have their sins forgiven.