You flew by so quickly, mercilessly taking away precious moments, shortening the happy moments, yet at times, seem to cruelly lengthen heart wrenching moments. You, 2011, did not disappoint, it is after all, a good year.
This time two years ago, I was eagerly waiting to start dental school, who knew that two years later, I'd be looking forward to third year. Everyday is truly God's grace, it's truly His love that brought me to the right place, to serve Him, to serve His people and to be able to live a passion so dear. I still am that little kid that has just been told that her dreams are about to come true.. that love and that excitement of starting uni again just never ceases.
I wish at some point of 2011, time would have stopped. Time would have stopped for me to spend time with grandma, for me to be able to cuddle up to her like old times and really just tell her how much I love her. I'm thankful I got to spend the last moments with her, but just some times, I still wish I had around. She was a woman beyond her time, she had a mind so modern, it's unbelievable and I have to say, she'd possibly be the funkiest grandma around. At least in my heart she'll always be. I would love for her to meet Sherwin, I would love for her to give me her thoughts, and most importantly, for the people I love to meet one another.
Then again, 2011 was the start of many changes in my life. I finally mustered enough courage to do back up at church and finally learning to understand that God qualifies the called. Taking up roles I never imagined I would take up in SMA. It saw many friendships breaking down, yet the building of strength in my family in Christ. It made me realize the importance of some people, their significance in my life and the lack of in some.. It made me realize what was truly worth keeping.
2011.. of course.. how can I forget.. saw me falling in love. After so many months, it's still so vivid in my mind. The first time I met Sherwin, how we "spoke", how we got to know each other over gym sessions and countless nights of studying in the business school, how someone who was a stranger, slowly became a friend and now, my best friend and a man I so love. I cannot describe this feeling, for once I'm at a loss for words.
Sherwin's influence in my life didn't just start from my diet (which was healthy, but I wasn't eating right), he influenced the way I worked out, the way I looked at myself and just became such an integral part of my life that for once, that commitment phobic brain of mine is becoming tame.
It's because of him that I realized I've never known what it meant to miss someone. To miss someone to the point of being brought to tears at the thought of him. Because of him, I've finally found the courage to pursue a love I never dared to pursue, to go against what was "the easy way out" and to go against the expectations of others and love what my heart desired. It was because of him that I found that life in me again, to finally tell myself that I should stop living in the shadows of familial expectations and judgement, but to live for myself, for what my heart desired. He's given me the courage to believe in myself and love myself that much more. To be honest, I've never been more comfortable in my own skin as I am now.
I have met a man whose desires are in tandem to mine. To find someone who cares for the homeless as much as I do, who feels for the unfortunate like I do, who loves and respects life as much as I do, who adores children and the companion of animals. Someone who loves to cook more than I do, who loves fitness and working out like I do, who enjoys taking photos and won't grumble having long chats with me. Someone who'd laugh at my jokes, or rather, someone who gets my humor, and someone I can imagine spending the rest of my life with. I'm rather blessed that this wonderful someone came into my life. When I wasn't searching, he came and filled my life with so much love. I am just thankful that God had willed for us to meet, for our paths to cross and for us to find so much comfort in each other's presence. I'm looking forward to the life ahead of us Sherms.. I know God has a lot installed for us and I'm blessed and thankful that we're both His children.
2011, 2011.. you've brought with you so much tears, of joys, of sorrows and laughter. I will remember you 2011.. you've been a good year.
