These couple of months have been quite a ride, the magnitude and the multitude of these experiences are more overwhelming than I can ever imagine. I experienced God in a way that was so direct that it was as if He was tangible, His voice and message was so clear that it was undeniable.
I got into dentistry. That on it's own is more than just a miracle. Just when everyone, (I mean EVERYONE) told me it was impossible, asking me to seek another career path, God opened the doors for me, not just once, but so many times. He didn't just leave the door ajar, He swung it wide open, so clear and so bright. In my darkest moments, I did think of giving up, but He gave me an desire that was so strong, it couldn't be wrong, or rather, it couldn't have been my own mortal desire.
Three years ago, I was a disobedient Christian, to be brutally honest, I wasn't even Church going, not because I didn't want to, but because of parental objections. I knew way before my A's that I wanted to be a dentist, if you ask me, was my desire as strong as it is now, I have to say no, but I knew that it was something that I was more than interested in. I love teeth, I love the empowerment a confident smile can give, I knew that Dentistry was something that I could do for the rest of my life. Of course, as you all know, I didn't get in. (DUH! I didn't do stellar for A's) and in retrospect, I believe God has His own timing for everything.
Then I started my course in NUS, Biomed wasn't exactly bad, I don't detest it, but as always, when you have something that you are more passionate about, you'll tend to not enjoy what you're studying. That was how it was for me. I mean, I love the time I had in NUS, cause I met the most amazing bunch of girls and guys alike, people who are now very dear to me and people whom I know I will treasure for the rest of my life. BUT.. Of course, in my first year, I was in a relationship with this guy whom I thought was someone I could be with for a long time, and again.. I think God had other plans for the both of us.
That was when I started questioning the Lord, why take away all the things that I love, denying me of dentistry, of a guy that I felt for and taking away my grandma. Why?
But it was these three years, this extra time that I had that God brought me to Church. He allowed me to meet the most amazing people in church and at school. My dearest brother in Christ, Brendon, and the friends at Church, my cell group. I used to think that I wasted my time in NUS, but if you ask me now, I would definitely take my words back. Because of the extra time, the Lord brought me back to Him. He gave me friends who will support my walk with Him and I know He used these three years to give me a clearer purpose for my dental desires.
Like I say, all of this in God's timing.
I remember every first Sunday of every month, we would have Holy communion in Grace and I know every single time, the only thing I ever ever prayed for was for dentistry. There were times where I prayed and asked, "Lord, if dentistry isn't for me, let people in authority tell me so and if it isn't for me, only you have the power to extinguish this flame and passion in me".. but each time, my dental profs will tell me not to give up, they were sure that I would be a good dentist and each time, my desire just grew stronger and stronger, to the extent that I would cry myself to sleep because there was so much passion in me for dentistry and yet I was so far from it. That kind of helplessness and loneliness, I doubt anyone can understand. I had to fight my fears all alone, I was afraid, I really was.. "what if i never got to do it.. what if it was me being stubborn?" Yet everyday, I had to put up a strong cheery front that I was fine, that Life was good, who knew my fears? I suppose, till this day, only my Lord knew.
So three years in NUS and I graduated with a BSc, I till this day feel quite guilty for not doing my best, but again, I shall not dwell upon my regrets. So I thought being a graduate would make applying for dentistry easier.. Boy was I wrong. Many unis don't take graduates for an undergrad programme in Aust and even the IDP councillor told me I wasn't able to make it, even for UWA. But the funny thing is, I felt a tug or rather I was only drawn to one uni and that was the University of Western Australia. Yet my IDP agent told me it was IMPOSSIBLE (and I put it in caps because that was the kind of message she was trying to drive across), she said that there had NEVER been any precedence of grads getting into UWA's dental undergrad course. Nonetheless, I, being the stubborn me, made sure she submitted an application for me. I have to tell you, she was not at all happy nor willing..
Then a few agonising months later, I got an email that I passed the first round of selections and was qualified to take the ISAT (international students admissions test). I went for the ISAT and I nearly died when I came out.. Everyone was complaining about how challenging it was! It was tough.. Darn tough.. the english and language bits weren't a problem for me, but there were parts that had CALCULATIONS, math and physics-ish stuff that caught me off guard. I thought.. That's it.. no more dreaming..
Through this period, people prayed for me, and to all of you who did, THANK YOU! I think God heard my prayers for the past few years and in faith I did decently for my ISAT. I didn't expect myself to be the 81st percentile, neither did I think I would get an overall score of 178 out of 200! I was estatic! BUT BUT BUT.. I didn't know if it was enough to get me an interview. So a month or so later, I got a call..
A: "Hi, this is Alvin calling from the IDP, is this Jocelyn?"
Me: "yea.. anything the matter?"
A: "I'm calling to see if you might me interested in an interview for UWA dentistry?"
you cannot imagine just how stunned I was..
Me: "OF COURSE! I won't even mind starting school now if i could!"
A: "Yea.. we need to know if you are serious about dentistry at UWA and not just shopping around for universities."
Me: "Of course not, I'm absolutely sincere about studying there!"
I couldn't thank God enough. Really.
Then the Interview came and to be honest, I thought I didn't do as well as I should have and I could have, but after waiting for TWO almost Three long agonising months, I got in! Praise the Lord! My agent at IDP was so happy for me, she was amazed and all I could tell her was that it was all God's Grace.
I now have a very long long journey ahead of me and I know I will give it my very best and give it my all. =) I am, in the Australian's eyes, a mature student.. and I now wait for the Lord to unveil His other plans for my life. Through this all, I've learnt to give God control and to have faith that God knows what's best for me.
This is part of my story and my testimony.. God is good and He REALLY knows best!
